Monday, October 31, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
|Red as Jesse from Toy Story - 2010|
|The always fabulous Headless Horseman (here he looks ghostly)|
* * * * *
Pam Asberry * Dacula, GA
|Nathan, October, 2005|
I am 5" 2", so when this picture was taken, I towered over my little guy.
My, what a difference six years makes!
My advice? Treasure every chaotic moment with your precious little trick-or-treaters this year.
Your big ones, too.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
|Josh and Casey|
|Nathan and Casey|
|Yep, it's really me. October, 2006.|
Monday, October 24, 2011
|Me and Red - Halloween 2009|
Friday, October 21, 2011
|Do you ever feel this way?|
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
In Lindy Chaffin Start's blog post Monday, she detailed conversations that decisively ended relationships. I was impressed. Me? I seem more like our reader Denise, who commented:
Oh, you are so not alone. I always see the good and write the bad off to just a bad moment. I will forgive just about anything.
Here are some examples from the past.
Me: "I am thinking about going to University of Colorado and getting my Ph.D."
Serious Boyfriend: "Go for it. But I can't promise I will be waiting around for you when you are finished."
Stunned silence. Eventually, I give up my dream of getting a Ph.D. and marry the guy.
Me: "So what's this big secret you want to tell me?"
Friend: "I am having an affair with John Doe."
Stunned silence. John Doe is married and all of our mutual friends know it. I don't approve, but I keep her secret, lying for her when friends ask about their relationship.
Me: "What just happened?"
New Boyfriend: "You're just not as slim and slender as I originally thought."
Stunned silence. I am 5' 2"; at the time, I weighed 105 pounds. My confidence is shattered, but we talk it through and I end up in a four-year relationship with the guy.
Denise went on to say:
I do have a line or two and am drawing more. There's just so much a girl can put up with, right?
I like to think my learning curve is also improving. I am learning to speak up for myself. I divorced the husband. I broke ties with the friend. I ended the four-year relationship. And here are some examples from more recent history.
Me (on a third date): "So tell me more about your situation with your ex."
New Boyfriend: "Well, she isn't exactly my ex. We aren't exactly separated. And she doesn't exactly know I am seeing other people."
Great balls of fire! I don't date married men! Please take me home!
Me: "That's a great idea. I would love to spend Valentine's Day in the mountains with you."
Boyfriend of Six Months: "I'm going to have to cancel our weekend reservation. My mom is expecting me at her house for Sunday night dinner."
I hope your mom will also keep you warm at night! Bye-bye!
I don't know why it's taken me a lifetime to figure this all out. But the good news is that am no longer willing to spend five minutes with a man who diminishes me in anyway or puts me at the bottom of his priority list. Nor am I willing to keep dirty secrets for a friend or put up with any kind of abuse from anyone--whether it's directed at me, at a minority group, or anyone else. At this stage of the game, it's about being true to myself and treating others the way I want to be treated.
If that isn't true love, I don't know what is.
Where do YOU draw the line?
Author: Pam Asberry
Monday, October 17, 2011
5 FINGERS© Nithi Chungyam | Dreamstime.com
Friend: “My ex is after me for back child support.”
Refrain from slapping. See ya!
Me: “Girl, you look great! How did you lose so much weight?”
Friend: “Well, did I ever tell you that cocaine is my drug of choice.”
Head tilt. Huh? See ya!
Me: “I really appreciate your help this weekend. Is there anything I can do to repay you?”
Friend: “Didn’t you tell me once that the doc had given you Xanex for your panic attacks?”
Me: “Yeah. Why?”
Friend: “I’ll buy them from you.”
Are you kidding me? See ya!
Whole host of expletives resound in brain. See ya!
Sadly, I am naïve enough not to pick up on the warning signs like most. Believing in people is what I do. Seeing the good, refusing to admit the bad until it smacks me across the face – WHACK! Gratefully, I am well aware of when to call a friendship quits.
What about you? Is there something you’ve heard from a friend that has ended a relationship? Something you swore you would never repeat?
Pam is up next. Until Friday Show and Tell I bid you a good week.
Friday, October 14, 2011
|The neighbor's mailbox-eating tree...|
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
My blog sister Lindy believes that perfection can be found in pork tenderloin. That may be true for you carnivores out there but, as far as I'm concerned, perfection can be found in a simple pot of homemade soup, like this recipe for black bean soup, adapted from my 1981 edition of Laurel's Kitchen. Yes, I have been dabbling with vegetarianism for a long, long time.
BLACK BEAN SOUP
1 1/2 cups black beans
1 1/2 quarts water
2 heaping tablespoons VegeBase
(or substitute 1 1/2 quarts vegetable broth for the water and VegeBase)
2 tablespoons oil
2 stalks celery
1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon oregano
2 teaspoons salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
Pinch garlic powder
Wash the beans, place them in a pot along with the water and VegeBase (or vegetable broth) and 1 tablespoon oil. Cover tightly, bring to a boil, and simmer for 2 1/2 hours or so, until the beans are very tender.
Makes about 9 cups. Great served in a bowl topped with hot sauce and a dollop of sour cream and a side of cornbread, or leftover on a bed of rice and topped with salsa and grated cheddar cheese.
Click the links below for some of my other favorite fall recipes. Enjoy!
Spicy Pumpkin Muffins
Apple Streusel Pie
German Chocolate Pie
Author: Pam Asberry
Monday, October 10, 2011
- 1 split baby tenderloin, fat trimmed
- Emeril’s Original Essence
- Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Friday, October 7, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
The very best thing I’ve read in the last few days truly made me think on the topic of perfectionism. This is a point made by Sarah Ban Breathnach in her book, Simple Abundance - A Daybook of Comfort and Joy. She points out, “Upon completing the Universe, the Great Creator pronounced it ‘very good.’ Not ‘perfect.’”
|© Aje | Dreamstime.com|
Monday, October 3, 2011
After spending the summer eating frogs, being a total slave to a stack of arduous to-do lists, I am trying a new approach, which seems to be working for the always brilliant Danielle LaPorte. I recommend that you click HERE and read every word of this recent blog post of hers. Here is my favorite part.
Time management systems are tricky beasts. They may help us be more productive, but not necessarily less stressed, or more fulfilled, or more in touch with our true nature. We may look freer with our priorities all tidy, but too often, time remains the master and we get "given" time for obeying the system.
I'd rather be fulfilled than obedient. And it turns out that when I'm fulfilled, I'm...fulfilled--whether I'm productive or not. And that gives me plenty of energy to be more focused on what matters most, which makes me truly productive.
My way isn't working. My daily to-do list is physically impossible to achieve, so I wake up every morning stressed and anxious, knowing that I am going to fail before I even get started. Is this any way to go through life? Obviously, the answer is no.
I love Danielle's suggestions for putting time management in its place. I already "batch and chunk," so that one is a no-brainer. I am super excited about trying some of the others. Like NOT keeping a detailed to-do list. Asking myself every morning what it is I really feel like doing. And, arguably most important for me, focusing on the one or two vocational pursuits that really excite me.
Here is my breaking news: I am finally ready to admit that I cannot do it all: teach piano lessons to 40 students each week--a full-time job--while simultaneously building both a handcrafted jewelry business and a writing career AND taking care of my family. Something has got to give. And over a tear-filled breakfast a couple of weeks ago, my friend Denise helped me realize what that needs to be.
Her question went something like this: "If you designed a piece of jewelry that became so popular that making jewelry could be your sole means of support--if it went viral and you could no longer meet the demand for it by yourself and you got to run a factory to manufacture it--would you be happy doing nothing but that?"
I didn't even hesitate. The answer was easy. "No."
Music and writing are my passions. I enjoy making jewelry and hoped that my Etsy store would provide me with some extra income during this slump in the economy and buy me time to hone my skills as a writer, but the truth is that every penny I earn selling jewelry goes right back into supplies to make more jewelry. And sales haven't been great the past few weeks. I expect that will change as the holidays approach, so it makes sense to stay in business through the first of the year, but after that I plan to liquidate my remaining stock. I still enjoy making jewelry; I will probably keep my store open with a handful of select signature and seasonal items, and do special orders upon request. But I will keep my focus where it needs to be. On my personal development as a musician. On teaching my students every week. On honing my skills as a writer, both of fiction and nonfiction.
The relief I have felt as a result of this decision tells me that it is a step in the right direction. Wish me luck.
Are you a slave to your to-do list? Are you fully engaged in the one or two pursuits that bring you sheer delight? Would you be happy doing nothing but what you are doing for the rest of your life? If you don't like your answers to these questions, what are you going to do about it?
Author: Pam Asberry