Writers Li.P.P.

Friday Show & Tell

2011-12-09T00:01:00.001-05:00

With this installment of Friday Show & Tell, Writers Li.P.P. is going on indefinite hiatus. Even though we will no longer be blogging together, you can keep up with us on our personal blogs, Lindy Chaffin Start and Pam Asberry. Thanks to all of you for supporting us by reading and commenting. We wish you a very Merry Christmas and the happiest of New Years!

It just wouldn't be Christmas without these...

2011-12-07T00:01:00.000-05:00

There's nothing healthy about them. But they have been a family favorite as long as I can remember, and I will make them every December until the day I die.

HELLO DOLLY SQUARES

1/2 cup butter, melted

1 cup graham cracker crumbs

1 cup chocolate chips

1 cup coconut

1 cup pecans, chopped

1 can Eagle brand milk

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Melt butter; combine with graham cracker crumbs and pat down to form crust. Layer chocolate chips, coconut and pecans over crust; pour Eagle brand milk over evenly. Bake for 30 minutes. Cool completely before cutting into squares.

Who Says Healthy-er Can't Taste Good?

2011-12-05T00:01:00.001-05:00

Okay, so I have to admit that when it comes to the holidays the last thing I am worried about is counting calories. I'm more a "moderation" girl than a "no bread and cheese" girl. Thanksgiving is the only day of the year I EVER feel over-full and Christmas means all of those delectable dishes we only taste once in 365 days.

Since 2011 has been such a challenging year and I have committed myself to taking the 2012 bull by the horns and changing my life in a complete one-eighty why should I concern myself with healthful recipes at the holidays? Maybe I want to set a good example. Could it be that I want to impress my friends with flavorful and healthy food? Perhaps my intent to completely change in 2012 needs to get a good start, or I need to send 2011 off on a healthier note. No matter. Here are some of the "better for you" recipes I will be serving this year. Enjoy!

Ricotta Dip for Fruit

1/2 Cup low fat Ricotta cheese
4 ounces cream cheese, softened
3 tablespoons orange juice
2 tablespoons powdered sugar
1 6-ounce container vanilla low fat yogurt
6 cups cubed cantaloupe, honeydew, pineapple and strawberries

In a blender or food processor, combine ricotta, cream cheese, orange juice and powdered sugar. Cover and blend or process until smooth. In a medium bowl stir together cheese mixture and yogurt. If desired, cover and chill dip up to 24 hours. Serve with assorted fresh fruit.

Chili-Toasted Pecans with Dried Cherries

1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1/2 teaspoon bottled hot pepper sauce
2 cups pecan halves (8 ounces)
1-1/2 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon black pepper
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon dried oregano, crushed
3/4 cup dried cherries or a combination of raisins and dried cherries (4 ounces)

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. In a large bowl combine oil and hot pepper sauce. Add pecans; toss to coat evenly. Set aside. In a small bowl combine chili powder, pepper, salt, cumin and oregano. Add to pecans; toss well to coat. Place pecans in a single layer in a 15 x 10 x 1 inch baking pan. Bake fro 12-15 minutes or until toasted, stirring every five minutes. Stir in dried cherries. Serve warm or cooled to room temperature.

Praline-topped Brie

1 each 13-ounce round Brie or Camembert cheese
1/2 cup orange marmalade
2 tablespoons packed brown sugar
1/3 cup coarsely chopped pecans, toasted
Apple slices and/o toasted French bread slices

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place cheese in a shallow, ovenproof serving dish or pie plate. In a small bowl stir together orange marmalade and brown sugar. Spread on top of cheese. Sprinkle with pecans. Bake about 15 minutes or until cheese is slightly softened and topping is bubbly. Serve with apple and/or bread slices.

I must thank Better Homes and Gardens for these lovely recipes, but for my own personal tips, well, here you go:

Always go for the whole grain. Be it french bread, mustard or cereal - whole grain is better for you.
If a recipe calls for crackers or bread, improvise with sliced fruit or vegetables. Serve the brie, as mentioned above, with apple slices. Serve that family-favorite cheese ball with sliced cucumbers, zucchini, celery or carrot slices.
If you're serving a pasta dish, even spaghetti, lighten it up by using julienned squash (zucchini or summer) or take advantage of the fall harvest and use spaghetti squash.

The best advice I can offer is don't overdo it. Enjoy yourself. Pamper your palette. Don't drink and drive. And if you do eat that one extra cookie, forgive yourself then get up and go for a walk the next day.

Happy Holidays my friends. Feast!

Friday Show & Tell

2011-12-02T00:01:00.004-05:00

Lindy Chaffin Start - Decatur, GA

Girls live here!

You reckon? Think pink! I hear it's the new "Red" this Christmas.

*****

Pam Asberry * Dacula, GA

Grand Cayman Island

To heck with the North Pole. If I were Santa, I would move my workshop to the Caribbean.

* * *

Have a great week-end; we'll be back on Monday with our favorite holiday party recipes!

Wrap Yourself This Christmas!

2011-12-01T07:51:00.001-05:00

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said that “the greatest gift is a portion of thyself.”

Yes, I love to craft and create. It has always been my gift to close family and friends to make their gifts at Christmas. The year Red was born I made Christmas ornaments. Small glass balls adorned with a snowman that was built from her tiny footprint. Cute, huh? The next year I made clocks out of wooden plaques with our family’s memories from that year captured in photographs on the face. Pretty cool. The next year it was a wreath made of jingle boughs decorated with small photo frames that captured our memories from the year. Fun. This year I am recycling. I can’t tell you because you just might be getting one, but know it will be recycled and handmade and Red and I hope you like it.

I agree with Pam that more often than not our friends and loved ones wish to have something special under the tree to open. I, in fact, am guilty of this very infraction. So much so that I gave my mother $100 and asked her to take my little girl shopping for the gifts on my wish list. Sad. True. Okay, so that has more to do with creating tradition and teaching a little red-headed princess how to think about someone other than herself at Christmastime, but equally as selfish is my wish for a small gift or two to open on Christmas morning. In all honesty I don’t need anything, but I wish beyond wishes for that small acknowledgement that I exist. Which brings me to the greatest gift of all – friendship.

Aside from the crafty-handmade gifts and the little tokens wrapped underneath my tree I want to give myself and my friends the greatest gift – each other. I plan to open my home to family and friends for one night steeped in frivolous fun – a re-gifters gift exchange, a covered dish, some hot cider, a carol or two, maybe even a viewing of Rudolf or the first Miracle on 34^th Street. No matter what we do, just being together is what counts.

This year would have been impossible to bear without the love and support of our friends so now is the time for me to pay it back, or pay it forward, depending on your perspective. Won’t you join me?

What will you do this season to make it bright on a budget?

Christmas on a Peppermint Striped Shoestring

2011-11-28T00:01:00.005-05:00

Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.
~Oren Arnold

I like the way you think, Oren. But you know what? My friends and family are going to be looking for something wrapped up under the Christmas tree.

And I am on a budget. I mean, seriously. Those days of reckless spending and paying off the Christmas bills around the fourth of July are over. If there isn't cash to pay for it, I'm not buying it. And there is powerful little cash left over after expenses. So what is a gal who loves absolutely everything about Christmas supposed to do?

I recommend handmade gifts. Whether you cook or bake, sew or craft, work with wood or provide useful services, you can come up with something to satisfy just about everyone on your list. If you're feeling short on inspiration, click HERE for some great ideas. I'm gonna try my hand at those chocolate spoons this week!

And if you're short on time, I would like to suggest that you visit Etsy.com and support small local craftsmen. To get started, I invite you to browse my selection of handmade jewelry at The Wishing Box (click HERE). And if you need a few stocking stuffers, please consider buying a handful of beaded bracelets to support Asberry School of Music's efforts to help Beading To Beat Autism raise $300 million to build an autism research and treatment center in Louisville, Kentucky.

Shiny!

Bracelets come packaged in a ziplock baggie containing a color insert describing the project.

The suggested donation is only $3 per bracelet. 6", 6 1/2" 7", and 8" lengths available; we will do our best to honor your color preferences or, better yet, let us choose for you! These make great party favors, stocking stuffers, and holiday gifts for teens and teachers. Checks should be made payable to Beading To Beat Autism; all proceeds will go directly to the organization. Please leave a comment if you would like to place an order and I will get back to you with the details. Thank you in advance for your support!

What are your favorite low cost Christmas gift ideas?

Author: Pam Asberry
Website: http://pamasberry.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/pamasberryfanpage
Twitter: http://twitter.com/pamasberry

Friday Show and Tell

2011-11-18T00:01:00.001-05:00

Pam Asberry * Dacula, GA

Florida, here I come!

All my bags are packed; I'm ready to go. As soon as the school bell rings this afternoon, I will pick up my 15 year old son and we will make a beeline for Tampa, Florida where we have a reservation for one night in a hotel. Then tomorrow we will take a shuttle to the cruise port where we will board the Carnival Inspiration for a five-day cruise to Grand Cayman and Cozumel, returning Thanksgiving Day. It won't be a traditional holiday, to be sure, but I am looking forward to a break in my routine, fun in the sun, gourmet meals every night, and doing the electric slide while the steel drum band plays.

* * * * *

Lindy Chaffin Start * Decatur, GA

Widow-maker...

You don't think about how fragile life is until you pass by something this deadly. Can you imagine walking your dog and having this impale you instead of the ground? I guess that's why they call them widow-makers.

A Healthful Twist on Thanksgiving Favorites!

2011-11-16T00:01:00.000-05:00

My Thanksgiving Centerpiece

Okay, so not really, but Thanksgiving food was the hot topic this afternoon as I spoke with my Aunt Gwyne about our plans surrounding next week’s BIG day. It’s not unlike any of us to focus our utmost attention on a meal we get to eat once a year. I, for one, relish a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Turkey and ham as the centerpieces surrounded by warm goodness rivaled only by what the ladies in our church might offer as a buffet feast on Wednesday nights.

While on the phone with Auntie, she mentioned she had been for her quarterly check up today. When asked how everything turned out, she said in her always calm, positive manner, “Everything’s fine.” Though she did say her doctor had reminded her of the upcoming holidays and offered fair warning. Now mind you my aunt is the survivor of the century. It started with a broken ankle that led to a heart attack which lended itself to the discovery of diabetes then breast cancer. Heck, that’s just been in the last six years. Apparently her doctor shook a firm finger in her direction and reminded her she could only cheat on two days – Thanksgiving and Christmas. Otherwise, she had to mind her diet. We giggled a little as we both know Auntie cheats a bit whenever she feels like it. After all, what’s the worst that could happen?

Then, we talked about the meal. She will have the cherished turkey and ham, green beans and corn. I don’t know what everyone else is planning to contribute. All in all we will have about 25 for dinner at my aunt’s. Here is what I am planning to take:

Broccoli and Cauliflower Casserole

Ingredients:

2 bags frozen broccoli

2 bags frozen cauliflower

1 can Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom

1 cup sour cream

1 cup mayonnaise

2 cups cheddar cheese

1 sleeve Town House Crackers

1 stick butter

Method: Cook the broccoli and cauliflower according to package directions pulling from the stove a couple of minutes early so as to finish in the sauce in the actual casserole. In a large bowl mix soup, sour cream, mayonnaise and cheese. Add salt and pepper to taste. Fold in the broccoli and cauliflower. Pour mixture into a large casserole dish (9x13) sprayed with cooking spray. Top with crushed crackers. Drizzle butter over the top to finish. Bake at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes or until hot and bubbly. Get ready to taste heaven (yes, that was a casserole-eatin’ choir of angels you just heard).

My Better than Soufflé Sweet Potatoes

Ingredients:

3 pounds sweet potatoes (peeled and cubed)

Honey

Butter

Salt and pepper

Method: Nothing is easier. Boil sweet potatoes until they are tender. Remove from stove and drain. Return to pot. Mash potatoes the best way you know how – potato masher, mixer, whisk – they all work fine. Add a few tablespoons of butter while they are hot. Mix well and check consistency. Add honey; about half a bear. Then salt and pepper to taste. Mix well and serve. Simple, pantry-friendly.

Sugared Pecans

Ingredients:

1 pound pecans

1 cup sugar

Method: Another, oh so simple recipe. Put pecans in a medium-sized saucepan. Cover with water. Add sugar. Bring to a boil and continue to boil until the water begins to thicken slightly and turn a nice dark caramel brown. Drain. Toss boiled pecans onto a baking sheet sprayed with cooking spray. Spread them evenly so they don’t stick together. Sprinkle with sea salt. Bake at 200 degrees until the pecans and the sugar dry out a bit and form a nice crust. Depending on your oven, 30 minutes to an hour. Let the pecans cool in the pan. Transfer to a bowl and serve. This will be the happiest crowd of people you have ever seen.

Enjoy all of the kudos on your contributions. Don’t over indulge. Celebrate you and your family. Be thankful for all that you have, even the fleas. And, have a Happy Thanksgiving!

My Family's Favorite Thanksgiving Recipes

2011-11-14T00:01:00.008-05:00

Thanksgiving 2010
l-r: Casey, Nathan, Eric & SeDonna

This week's blog topic is Thanksgiving recipes made healthy. But I cannot tell a lie.

I don't do Thanksgiving healthy. Every year, I make Thanksgiving dinner the way I always have, fat and calories be damned. Then everyone at my table eats himself or herself into a stupor and enjoys every delicious minute. I know I do. It's just one day out of 365. Geez.

I usually do both ham and turkey with bread dressing like my mom's, cranberry sauce, homemade rolls and pumpkin pie, with green beans and corn as a nod to balance. My brother and his wife usually join my two sons and me for dinner, and each of them has another favorite side dish/dessert to go along. Here the recipes.

* * *

CASEY'S BROCCOLI SALAD
SALAD:
1 bunch broccoli, chopped small
1/2 cup golden raisins
1/2 cup sunflower seeds
1/4 cup red onion, chopped small
DRESSING:
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1 tablespoons vinegar
1 tablespoon sugar

Combine salad ingredients in a bowl, then stir together dressing ingredients and pour over, stirring to combine. This is good topped with crumbled bacon, but I serve that on the side since Casey is a vegetarian.

* * *

NATHAN'S CHEESY POTATOES
1 bag frozen hash browns
1/2 stick butter
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 cup sour cream
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper

Arrange hash browns in a greased 13 X 9 inch baking pan. Combine remaining ingredients in a medium saucepan and stir over low heat until melted. Pour over hash browns. Bake at 350 degrees for 50-60 minutes or until golden brown.

* * *

SEDONNA'S SWEET POTATO CASSEROLE
3 cups mashed, cooked sweet potatoes
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup milk
1/3 cup margarine
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 eggs, beaten
1 cup flaked coconut
1/ cup firmly packed brown sugar
1/3 cup flour
1/3 cup margarine, melted
1 cup chopped pecans

Combine mashed sweet potatoes, sugar, milk, 1/3 cup margarine, vanilla and eggs; set aside. Thoroughly combine coconut, brown sugar, flour, 1/3 cup margarine and pecans in another bowl. Spoon 1/2 sweet potato mixture into a lightly greased 8-inch square pan; sprinkle with half the coconut-pecan topping. Repeat with remaining ingredients. Bake, uncovered, at 375 degrees for 25 minutes.

* * *

ERIC'S CHOCOLATE CHIP PECAN PIE
3 large eggs

1 1/2 cup light corn syrup

1/2 cup sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 cup pecans, halves or pieces

Beat eggs slightly with fork. Stir in syrup, sugar and vanilla until blended. Add chocolate pieces and pecans. Mix well. Pour into unbaked pie shell (I use Pillsbury!) and bake at 375 degrees for 45 to 50 minutes or until knife comes out clean.

And there you have it: instructions for a feast fit for royalty. Regardless of which way you go - healthy or not so much - I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Author: Pam Asberry
Website: http://pamasberry.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/pamasberryfanpage
Twitter: http://twitter.com/pamasberry

Friday Show and Tell

2011-11-11T00:01:00.003-05:00

Pam Asberry * Dacula, GA

The view from my bedroom window.

I'm going to miss those leaves when they're gone.

* * * * *

Lindy Chaffin Start * Decatur, GA

My neighbor's treasured Japanese Maple

It's funny how Pam and I think alike most Fridays. Every year this tree puts on a brilliant display of crimson and gold. It's my signal for the fall of my life to begin. Time for rest and rejuvenation, not only for Mother Nature, but for me as well. I'll miss the leaves, but when the first snow falls, I'll have a much better view of the field below. Happy Fall Y'all!

Pretty Awesome New Stuff – Bad and Good

2011-11-09T09:55:00.001-05:00

My friend, Pam Asberry is all too inspiring and her post on Monday about awesome new things she has tried brought me to shameful tears. You see, this year hasn’t been about trying new things for me; it has been more about shedding the old:

Cleaning out closets
Hosting a yard sale
Taking a break from everything I aspire to be to search for a job
Letting go of a relationship I thought was forever

And what awesome new thing did I get? A little piece of paper, signed by a judge, that states I am once again…single.

But wait! I don’t want to weigh you down with a bunch of poor, pitiful me sob story stuff. If you’ve read anything I’ve ever written you know that’s not at all what I’m about. Let’s take another look at the bullet points above:

Yes, I cleaned out my closets. I discovered half of my clothes were either too small or too big so guess what I did. I bought new ones. One of my favorite new outfits I found at Macy’s. Hot, right?

Okay, so what. I hosted a yard sale. Big deal! I made enough money to re-do my little girl’s room. It’s very pretty and purple now. She no longer resides in a guest room disguised as a kid’s room. She now has her very own space complete with a newly painted night stand and stars and “jewels” on the walls.

Red's New Room

Yeah, yeah. This is where it gets hard. I took a break from everything I aspire to be to look for a job. Listen, it only sounds bad. My passions (writing, cooking, painting) got put on the back burner one more time in my life but in their place I got to take classes on InDesign and Illustrator and learned some cool new tricks of a new awesome trade. I’ve been doing freelance graphic design ever since. So there is still the ginormous void of an actual job but I know its coming. Living in faith, I know, like I know, like I know. So, now is the time for me to reconnect with my passions while I still have some free time and let God take care of the rest.

Letting go of that relationship was probably the most devastating, but in the process I connected with old friends and new, especially the girls, like Karen, Zoe, Pam, Megan, Marjorie and a list of others who must forgive me as I only have so much space in one blog post, BUT you know who you are and you know I love each of you so much it hurts. And lest we not forget the boys like Mark, Bryan and Michael who have been like little beacons of hope for me that good, honest men do still exist.

You see, my pretty awesome new things are the things I had been lacking all along. The gumption to get rid of the old and start looking for the new. The knowledge that space is very personal. The ability to learn and grow. And, the courage to admit when something just wasn’t working.

Yes, in 2011, I shed the old but look at all the awesome new things, and people, I discovered in the process.

Life in Penned Perspective by Lindy Chaffin Start

www.unstoppablestart.com

Seven New Favorite Things

2011-11-07T00:01:00.002-05:00

I gave myself an unusual birthday present this year.

I started a new blog back in August, on my fifty-second birthday. Inspired by Julie Powell of Julie and Julia and Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project, I vowed to try something new every day for a year and blog about it. Over the course of the eighty-four days that have passed since then, I have had some wonderful experiences that I undoubtedly wouldn't have had if not for my resolution. I have experimented with new recipes, visited unfamiliar places, even learned a thing or two. Some have become a part of my daily life. Since my budget is tight, most are low-cost or no-cost. Here are a few of my favorites.

1. Godiva Dark Chocolate.

2. Pillsbury Mocha Fudge Brownies.

3. Once Upon A Time.

4. 100 Push-Ups/200 Sit-Ups.

5. Pumpkin Spice K-Cups.

6. PaperBack Swap.

7. Pinterest.

Click on the pink links to find out more. Then I hope you will go back and visit my blog Between Birthdays often!

What are one of your favorite new things?

Author: Pam Asberry
Website: http://pamasberry.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/pamasberryfanpage
Twitter: http://twitter.com/pamasberry

Friday Show and Tell

2011-11-04T00:01:00.003-04:00

Lindy Chaffin Start - Decatur, GA

Soo-ee!
This little piggy's pic was taken at Southern Belle Farm in McDonough, GA

Yep, that's me, the pig in blue. Okay, so I'm not really a pig - physically, spiritually, emotionally - but showing you a picture of this little guy trucking it around the track to the finish line sets up the holidays for me. Halloween is over and here we are into the first of November - already.

Time to get your calls on kids. Let the fun begin! Soo-ee! Sorry, I mean Happy Holidays!

* * *

Pam Asberry - Dacula, GA

Legacy Hall, River Center for the Performing Arts, Schwob School of Music, Columbus State University

It's all a matter of perspective.

The Classics Do It For Me

2011-11-02T07:53:00.000-04:00

Make me giggle to no end, that is. Like this one...

Lucille Ball is an all time favorite of mine, well her and my mother and my aunt when they get started laughing at something and just can't stop.

Cheers to the girls today!

Bet You Can't Watch This Without Laughing

2011-10-31T00:01:00.000-04:00

Me? I have to laugh to keep from crying.

Enjoy!

Author: Pam Asberry
Website: http://pamasberry.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/pamasberryfanpage
Twitter: http://twitter.com/pamasberry

Halloween Show and Tell...

2011-10-28T00:01:00.001-04:00

Lindy Chaffin Start - Decatur, GA

Red as Jesse from Toy Story - 2010

The always fabulous Headless Horseman (here he looks ghostly)

Screamer!

There are some terrific pumpkin carvers out there, but Screamer was by far my favorite jack-o-lantern last year. Something about him "screamed" CREATIVE!!!

Happy Halloween, Y'all!

* * * * *

Pam Asberry * Dacula, GA

Nathan, October, 2005

I know it's a cliche, but they really do grow up too fast.
I am 5" 2", so when this picture was taken, I towered over my little guy.
My, what a difference six years makes!
My advice? Treasure every chaotic moment with your precious little trick-or-treaters this year.
Your big ones, too.

Ghosts of Halloweens Past and Writers LiPP Costume Contest!

2011-10-26T00:01:00.006-04:00

Of course I was a big fan of Halloween when I was growing up. What kid in her right mind wouldn't love an excuse to put on a crazy costume and go door-to-door begging candy from the neighbors? My brothers I used to come home with our pillowcases stuffed full of treats. But whereas all their good stuff (that is, the chocolate) was gone within days, I rationed my treats out and make them last nearly until Christmas. I've always been good that way. So why is it that there's always more month than money?

But I digress. I don't have any pictures of myself in costume back in the day, but my all-time favorite was Casper the Friendly Ghost. I remember sweating behind the mask, but I dug that shiny white robe.

By the time I got to high school, I determined I was too old to go trick-or-treating (my, how things have changed!) and I don't remember Halloween being fun again until I had kids of my own. I used to stay up until the wee hours sewing costumes for them

Josh and Casey

doing seasonal crafts with them

Nathan

and taking them to pumpkin patches and corn mazes.

Nathan and Casey

I firmly believe that these activities helped them grow in wisdom.

Nathan

Even Karma gets in on the action sometimes.

Batdog

And now for the moment you have been waiting for.

Yep, it's really me. October, 2006.

Now, it's YOUR turn! Please send a picture of yourself dressed in your Halloween finest for a chance to be featured on Friday Show & Tell AND win fabulous prizes, including an exclusive Writers Li.P.P. t-shirt. Send your entry to writerslipp@gmail.com. May the best costume win!

Author: Pam Asberry
Website: http://pamasberry.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/pamasberryfanpage
Twitter: http://twitter.com/pamasberry

Halloween Open House and Costume Contest! Come and Play!

2011-10-24T09:43:00.001-04:00

Me and Red - Halloween 2009

Halloween is a favorite of mine. Not only do I love a good haunt, but the memories that surround this special day linger in my mind like summer hangs on in Georgia.

My friend Kate who was 96 when she died some years back, used to open her home to all us neighborhood kids on Halloween. She would dress like a movie star straight from 1930s Hollywood and serve up yummy treats to the kids and parents that wandered by on Trick-or-Treat rounds. Wassail for the grownups, hot apple cider for the kids. Homemade popcorn balls decorated with chocolate bars to make them look like jack-o-lanterns were a staple along with spiced cookies - Kate's specialty.

Trick-or-Treating the full length of our neighborhood all by ourselves was something special and not getting home until 9:00 PM on a school night. The best part was being with the host of friends I grew up with. The Moseley's, Rob, Hunter and Jay, Amanda, Audra, to name only a few, were the usual traveling pack when we were younger. We would inevitably run into other friends and the group would grow until it took us a full ten minutes to get through the passing out of candy at each house. Great fun.

In my twenties, and don't I wish I could've found this pic for you, the only Halloween party I attended was with my first husband and we dressed as Frankenstein and his bride. He came complete with stilts that made him seven feet tall, and my hair was almost as tall as his stilts. Scary!

But the best Halloweens I have ever experienced have been with Red. Her first Trick-or-Treat was 2009. We traversed the neighborhood and collected candy from every house with it's front light on - in the icy cold rain. She loved every minute and so did I. Yes, that's me, the Too Sexy chef up top. In 2010, she dressed as Jessie from Toy Story and I dressed for warmth and walking. This year she is destined to be Daphne from Scooby Doo and so am I. Yes, she has asked me to be the "Mom Daphne." *laughing* I like purple, so why the heck not.

This week isn't all about us though, its about you too. Pam and I want you to e-mail us your favorite Halloween get-ups from the past. We'll choose a winner, or two, and post them for Friday Show and Tell. We'll have prizes for best costume too!

Pam's on Trick-or-Treat deck next! Have a great week and send me your photos - writerslipp@gmail.com.

Friday Show and Tell

2011-10-21T00:01:00.002-04:00

Pam Asberry * Dacula, GA

Do you ever feel this way?

The coffee mug says it all.

*****

Lindy Chaffin Start * Decatur, GA

Emerge Unstoppable!

After ten months of struggling through the pain of divorce, I still did...
EMERGE UNSTOPPABLE in 2011!

Where Do You Draw The Line?

2011-10-19T00:23:00.003-04:00

In Lindy Chaffin Start's blog post Monday, she detailed conversations that decisively ended relationships. I was impressed. Me? I seem more like our reader Denise, who commented:

Oh, you are so not alone. I always see the good and write the bad off to just a bad moment. I will forgive just about anything.

Here are some examples from the past.

Me: "I am thinking about going to University of Colorado and getting my Ph.D."
Serious Boyfriend: "Go for it. But I can't promise I will be waiting around for you when you are finished."
Stunned silence. Eventually, I give up my dream of getting a Ph.D. and marry the guy.

Me: "So what's this big secret you want to tell me?"
Friend: "I am having an affair with John Doe."
Stunned silence. John Doe is married and all of our mutual friends know it. I don't approve, but I keep her secret, lying for her when friends ask about their relationship.

Me: "What just happened?"
New Boyfriend: "You're just not as slim and slender as I originally thought."
Stunned silence. I am 5' 2"; at the time, I weighed 105 pounds. My confidence is shattered, but we talk it through and I end up in a four-year relationship with the guy.

Denise went on to say:

I do have a line or two and am drawing more. There's just so much a girl can put up with, right?

I like to think my learning curve is also improving. I am learning to speak up for myself. I divorced the husband. I broke ties with the friend. I ended the four-year relationship. And here are some examples from more recent history.

Me (on a third date): "So tell me more about your situation with your ex."
New Boyfriend: "Well, she isn't exactly my ex. We aren't exactly separated. And she doesn't exactly know I am seeing other people."
Great balls of fire! I don't date married men! Please take me home!

Me: "That's a great idea. I would love to spend Valentine's Day in the mountains with you."
Boyfriend of Six Months: "I'm going to have to cancel our weekend reservation. My mom is expecting me at her house for Sunday night dinner."
I hope your mom will also keep you warm at night! Bye-bye!

I don't know why it's taken me a lifetime to figure this all out. But the good news is that am no longer willing to spend five minutes with a man who diminishes me in anyway or puts me at the bottom of his priority list. Nor am I willing to keep dirty secrets for a friend or put up with any kind of abuse from anyone--whether it's directed at me, at a minority group, or anyone else. At this stage of the game, it's about being true to myself and treating others the way I want to be treated.

If that isn't true love, I don't know what is.

Where do YOU draw the line?

Author: Pam Asberry
Website: http://pamasberry.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/pamasberryfanpage
Twitter: http://twitter.com/pamasberry

The Exorcism Factor: Things I Heard and Swore I Would Never Repeat

2011-10-17T00:01:00.001-04:00

"See ya!"

5 FINGERS© Nithi Chungyam | Dreamstime.com

It’s funny how we perceive others. When it's someone we care about it's hard to see that they may be flawed to the point that we need to cut ties. This post means a great deal to me because I am essentially outing people I have known without revealing their identities. For these purposes, let’s call it an exorcism. This is my way of writing the note and lighting it on fire so that I can finally let these folks go. All of these people I have known well, shared intimate conversations with, and completely disconnected from once these statements were uttered. You ready?

Me: “So, why the name change?”

Friend: “There’s a warrant out for my arrest.”
Me: “For?”
Friend: “My ex is after me for back child support.”
Refrain from slapping. See ya!

Me: “Girl, you look great! How did you lose so much weight?”
Friend: “Well, did I ever tell you that cocaine is my drug of choice.”
Head tilt. Huh? See ya!

Me: “I really appreciate your help this weekend. Is there anything I can do to repay you?”
Friend: “Didn’t you tell me once that the doc had given you Xanex for your panic attacks?”
Me: “Yeah. Why?”
Friend: “I’ll buy them from you.”
Are you kidding me? See ya!

Me: “You said that you wanted to have your children raised in church. What happened?”

Friend: “I just said that to try to get in your pants.”
Whole host of expletives resound in brain. See ya!

Sadly, I am naïve enough not to pick up on the warning signs like most. Believing in people is what I do. Seeing the good, refusing to admit the bad until it smacks me across the face – WHACK! Gratefully, I am well aware of when to call a friendship quits.

What about you? Is there something you’ve heard from a friend that has ended a relationship? Something you swore you would never repeat?

Pam is up next. Until Friday Show and Tell I bid you a good week.

Friday Show and Tell

2011-10-14T00:01:00.008-04:00

Lindy - Decatur, GA

The neighbor's mailbox-eating tree...

9-1-1 Operator: "9-1-1. What's your emergency?"

Neighbor: "OMG! Send and ambulance!"

9-1-1 Operator: "Sir, what happened?"

Neighbor: "My tree ate my mailbox!"

* click *

* * * * *

Pam - Dacula, GA

I dream of living someplace warm enough to wear tank tops, flippy skirts and flip-flops year round,
because as soon as the temperature dips below 60 degrees, I reach for my fuzzy socks.
This is probably as close as I'm going to get to flip-flops for a while.

Fall Recipes: Black Bean Soup

2011-10-12T00:01:00.000-04:00

My blog sister Lindy believes that perfection can be found in pork tenderloin. That may be true for you carnivores out there but, as far as I'm concerned, perfection can be found in a simple pot of homemade soup, like this recipe for black bean soup, adapted from my 1981 edition of Laurel's Kitchen. Yes, I have been dabbling with vegetarianism for a long, long time.

BLACK BEAN SOUP

1 1/2 cups black beans
1 1/2 quarts water
2 heaping tablespoons VegeBase
(or substitute 1 1/2 quarts vegetable broth for the water and VegeBase)
2 tablespoons oil
1 carrot
1 onion
1 potato
2 stalks celery
1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon oregano
2 teaspoons salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
Pinch garlic powder

Wash the beans, place them in a pot along with the water and VegeBase (or vegetable broth) and 1 tablespoon oil. Cover tightly, bring to a boil, and simmer for 2 1/2 hours or so, until the beans are very tender.

Chop the onion and saute in the remaining oil until soft. Chop the celery, including the leaves; dice the potato and carrot; add celery, potato and carrot to onion and cook over medium heat for several minutes, stirring all the while.

Add the vegetables to the beans, along with the seasonings, in the last hour of their cooking. Bring the soup to a boil and lower the heat to simmer until the beans and vegetables are done.

Makes about 9 cups. Great served in a bowl topped with hot sauce and a dollop of sour cream and a side of cornbread, or leftover on a bed of rice and topped with salsa and grated cheddar cheese.

Click the links below for some of my other favorite fall recipes. Enjoy!

Spicy Pumpkin Muffins
Snickerdoodles
Apple Streusel Pie
German Chocolate Pie

Author: Pam Asberry
Website: http://pamasberry.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/pamasberryfanpage
Twitter: http://twitter.com/pamasberry

Best Things These Li.P.P.s Ever Tasted – Fall Recipes

2011-10-10T00:01:00.000-04:00

Do you ever have that feeling like your hands are in control? It’s the craziest feeling – they have to be doing something. I often say in these instances that “my hands are bored.” There is nothing like cooler days and a tinge of color on the leaves outside my window to inspire creativity. My bored hands are at the ready to do some busy work. So, I give them something to do.

Flavors of fall are especially important to me – freshly harvested apples, root vegetables like parsnip, carrot, sweet potato and Brussels sprouts all lend themselves to a heartier, cool-weather plate. At the center of this plate is perfectly roasted pork tenderloin. Yes, perfect. I know I said in my post last Wednesday that perfection was unattainable but perfected is possible. Well, perfection may be found in pork tenderloin.

Let’s build our plate and then I will give you the super secret, super easy recipe:

Imagine if you will a beautiful 10 inch dinner plate with elegant branches from a wintering dogwood filled with red berries stretching from corner to corner. In the center of the plate is a simple sweet potato mash made with a drizzle of honey, salt and pepper. In the seven o’clock corner there is a luscious mound of sautéed spinach with slivers of shaved garlic. In the one o’clock corner there is a nice showing of roasted root vegetables – carrots and parsnips – roasted in olive oil and rosemary. In the 11 o’clock corner, half of a Granny Smith apple and sharp provolone cheese are cubed and tossed together. Sound good so far? Now, we need our focal point.

Roasted Pork Tenderloin

1 split baby tenderloin, fat trimmed
Emeril’s Original Essence
Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Simple. Simple. Simple.

Method:

Place the tenderloins in a gallon Ziploc bag. Drizzle with enough olive oil to coat (a couple of tablespoons) then pour, not sprinkle, Emeril’s Original Essence into the bag atop the tenderloins. Zip the bag then squish the tenderloins around in the bag until they are nice and orange all over. It’s the spices, I promise. Heat a nonstick sauté pan, should you have one available, on medium-high to high heat. Sear the tenderloins on all four sides, each side will be a nice crisp brown - not black. Turn the tenderloins onto a baking sheet and bake at 350 degrees for approximately 30 minutes. Take the meat out of the oven and let it rest for 10 minutes before slicing.

This is the simplest pork tenderloin ever. I perfected the method while building a home in Juliette, Georgia. Every weekend we would commit to work through so I would pack the cooler with things that were easy to prepare with very few ingredients. This tenderloin, some cheddar cheese, Texas Pete, and flour tortillas made for a great lunch straight from the grill.

Fall conjures up so many flavors for me. I suggest you start your day with pecan pancakes and maple syrup. Have an enjoyable light lunch that might be a twist on Waldorf salad and whole grain toast or crackers. Finish your day with the ultimate fall dinner (above). No autumn weekend is complete without it.

Life, and menu ideas, in Penned Perspective by Lindy Chaffin Start

www.unstoppablestart.com

Friday Show & Tell

2011-10-07T11:23:00.000-04:00

Pam Asberry * Dacula, GA

This little guy shows up outside my kitchen window every single night.

I know he is looking for bugs but I like to think he is just peeking in to say hi.

Regardless, I admire his steadfastness and tenacity.

* * * * *

Lindy Chaffin Start * Decatur, GA

Emerging.

A Pondering on Perfection…

2011-10-05T00:01:00.005-04:00

The very best thing I’ve read in the last few days truly made me think on the topic of perfectionism. This is a point made by Sarah Ban Breathnach in her book, Simple Abundance - A Daybook of Comfort and Joy. She points out, “Upon completing the Universe, the Great Creator pronounced it ‘very good.’ Not ‘perfect.’”

Life is rarely perfect therefore we will never achieve perfection. Sounds fair. And, who would want to? What fun would life be if we all achieved our goals the minute we set out to? I figure we’d all be left standing around until one of us screamed, “What’s next?”

Pam’s post on Time Management this past Monday drove this point home to me. In there she asks, “Are you fully engaged in the one or two pursuits that bring you sheer delight? Would you be happy doing nothing but what you are doing for the rest of your life?

Funny thing about it is, when you are doing what you love, there is no need for perfection. Uh oh. What did I just say? Seriously. Look at it this way - yes, manuscripts have to be as perfect as perfect gets. Hello, that’s what editors and proofers are for. Work can be flawed, but people must still be served, events must still take place, the daily grind must still go on. Here’s my question, would you rather be sitting on the couch writing surrounded by poignant reminders that you have an active family (aka. a messy living room) or would you rather be expelling all of your energy perfecting your living room in a blind effort to make a peaceful space to work? If you spend your time cleaning to find the perfect space, then what do you do when the kids get home from school and want their fair share of quality time with you? After dinner, as everyone bathes and dons PJs, will you find time to write like you had planned earlier in the day? Can you forgive yourself and try again tomorrow? Sure you can. BUT, will tomorrow look like today?

It doesn’t take long to see the same pattern we all face. Lisa Bloom speaks about this in her book, THINK: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World. Find the time that you need to do the things that fulfill you. Let the kids take part in the cleaning and, in my humble opinion, do it before bed so you can have a semi-clean house when they leave for school. When they get home, allow them an hour of “free time” to do what they want in their space. This will allow you an extra hour to do what you want. Try it.

Stop looking for perfection. Find balance.

Until Friday Show and Tell this is Life in Penned Perspective by Lindy Chaffin Start.

www.unstoppablestart.com

A new perspective on time management

2011-10-03T00:01:00.003-04:00

After spending the summer eating frogs, being a total slave to a stack of arduous to-do lists, I am trying a new approach, which seems to be working for the always brilliant Danielle LaPorte. I recommend that you click HERE and read every word of this recent blog post of hers. Here is my favorite part.

Time management systems are tricky beasts. They may help us be more productive, but not necessarily less stressed, or more fulfilled, or more in touch with our true nature. We may look freer with our priorities all tidy, but too often, time remains the master and we get "given" time for obeying the system.

I'd rather be fulfilled than obedient. And it turns out that when I'm fulfilled, I'm...fulfilled--whether I'm productive or not. And that gives me plenty of energy to be more focused on what matters most, which makes me truly productive.

My way isn't working. My daily to-do list is physically impossible to achieve, so I wake up every morning stressed and anxious, knowing that I am going to fail before I even get started. Is this any way to go through life? Obviously, the answer is no.

I love Danielle's suggestions for putting time management in its place. I already "batch and chunk," so that one is a no-brainer. I am super excited about trying some of the others. Like NOT keeping a detailed to-do list. Asking myself every morning what it is I really feel like doing. And, arguably most important for me, focusing on the one or two vocational pursuits that really excite me.

Here is my breaking news: I am finally ready to admit that I cannot do it all: teach piano lessons to 40 students each week--a full-time job--while simultaneously building both a handcrafted jewelry business and a writing career AND taking care of my family. Something has got to give. And over a tear-filled breakfast a couple of weeks ago, my friend Denise helped me realize what that needs to be.

Her question went something like this: "If you designed a piece of jewelry that became so popular that making jewelry could be your sole means of support--if it went viral and you could no longer meet the demand for it by yourself and you got to run a factory to manufacture it--would you be happy doing nothing but that?"

I didn't even hesitate. The answer was easy. "No."

Music and writing are my passions. I enjoy making jewelry and hoped that my Etsy store would provide me with some extra income during this slump in the economy and buy me time to hone my skills as a writer, but the truth is that every penny I earn selling jewelry goes right back into supplies to make more jewelry. And sales haven't been great the past few weeks. I expect that will change as the holidays approach, so it makes sense to stay in business through the first of the year, but after that I plan to liquidate my remaining stock. I still enjoy making jewelry; I will probably keep my store open with a handful of select signature and seasonal items, and do special orders upon request. But I will keep my focus where it needs to be. On my personal development as a musician. On teaching my students every week. On honing my skills as a writer, both of fiction and nonfiction.

The relief I have felt as a result of this decision tells me that it is a step in the right direction. Wish me luck.

Are you a slave to your to-do list? Are you fully engaged in the one or two pursuits that bring you sheer delight? Would you be happy doing nothing but what you are doing for the rest of your life? If you don't like your answers to these questions, what are you going to do about it?

Author: Pam Asberry
Website: http://pamasberry.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/pamasberryfanpage
Twitter: http://twitter.com/pamasberry

Friday Show & Tell

2011-09-30T00:01:00.000-04:00

Pam Asberry

Dacula, GA

Karen White and Eloisa James
at The Chocolate Bar in Decatur, Georgia

Thursday I got to hear two amazing romance writers talk about their journeys and their friendship.

If you haven't read their work, go straight to your nearest local book store and treat yourself.

Countdown to M&M

2011-09-26T00:01:00.000-04:00

M&M's are like potato chips - no one can eat just one! And I'm not talking about those candy-coated chocolates; I'm talking about Georgia Romance Writers annual Moonlight & Magnolias Conference. The 2011 conference, "The Course of True Love," will be held at the Decatur Hotel & Conference Center September 29-October 2, and I am literally giddy with anticipation.

How do I love thee, M&M? Let me count the ways.

So many inspiring workshops that I seriously need to clone myself so that I don't miss anything
Featured speakers Eloisa James (!) and Karen White (!)
Special craft workshop presenter Leigh Michaels
Agent and editor appointments
The basket raffle and book signing
The Maggie awards ceremony, dinner and dance (it's electric!)
Catching up with old friends and making new connections

You cannot imagine the creative energy in a roomful of writers unless you have spent some time in one; it will keep me fueled for months to come. I will return home with a suitcase full of workshop notes, autographed books, business cards - maybe even a request for my manuscript - and memories to last a lifetime.

Will I see you at M&M? What are you looking forward to most?

Author: Pam Asberry
Website: http://pamasberry.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/pamasberryfanpage
Twitter: http://twitter.com/pamasberry

Friday Show and Tell

2011-09-23T00:01:00.003-04:00

Lindy - Decatur, GA

Deer Me...

It's mine.

No! It's mine!

Mine!

No, mine!

*****

Pam * Dacula, GA

Man and Beast

Two kewl dudes.

IHA! How Will We Ever Adapt?

2011-09-21T00:01:00.002-04:00

It's the great conundrum for someone who works at making every sentence just right. No, I'm not talking to only the writer-types reading this, but those who write notes of thanks, write letters for a boss, or journal to maintain his or her sanity. Everyone writes, right?

Scenario 1 - So tell me, what would the 87 year old grandmother say to a thank you note that read, "Dear G'ma. Thx 4 the diary u sent for my b'day. GMBO at the cute puppy on the cover. G'ma, I'm 12. Puppies r 4 babies. LUWAMH, Maggs.

Scenario 2 - Or, how about the manager reading a memo from his recent grad boss, "IMHO, ASAP in this ARE, we must msg our customers in a language they rel8 to. We must appear SF, K. FWIW, we can offer training in this new language. If not, I think YBS. TTYL.

Scenario 3 - As far maintaining sanity via journal, well, can you imagine coming back to this journal 20 years from now: "WIBNI bb grl hadn't climbed into the kitchen sink and eaten those coffee grounds 2day. LSHMBB. Diaper was disgusting. FMTYEWTK to be sure. HHIS. I'll run the disposal next time. TGIF, I couldn't take 1 more thing. Finally, I get to L2M and relax. TAFN.

Not only does it all sound like gibberish, who in their right mind could wrap their head around all of the combinations of acronyms that could come about? Are seventh grade English teachers going to now have to include acronymic sentence structure with and without punctuation?

So, how does the modern woman adapt to today's language? She looks up the latest lists, the hottest acronyms and buzzwords, so she can keep up with what her kids are chatting about online, on the cell, and passing back and froth in class. Then, she breaks the binding on that new copy of Webster's and gets back to the real world and writing real thank you notes, letters and memos, and manuscripts, lots and lots of manuscripts (for you writer-types reading this).

Oh, and if you are curious about the translations of the messages above, they are below (If I could've flipped them upside down I would have just to mess with you like they do in the newspaper).

Scenario 1 Translation: Dear Grandmother, Thanks for the diary you sent for my birthday. Giggling my butt off at the cute puppy on the cover. Grandmother, I'm 12. Puppies are for babies. Love you with all my heart, Maggs

Scenario 2 Translation: In my humble opinion, as soon as possible in this acronym rich environment, we must message our customers in a language they can relate to. We must appear surfer friendly, okay. For what it's worth, we can offer training in this new language. If not, I think you'll be sorry. Talk to you later.

Scenario 3 Translation: Wouldn't it be nice if baby girl hadn't climbed into the kitchen sink and eaten those coffee grounds today. Laughing so hard my belly is bouncing. Diaper was disgusting. Far more than you ever wanted to know to be sure. Hanging head in shame. I'll run the disposal next time. Thank goodness it's Friday, I couldn't take one more thing. Finally, I get to listen to music and relax. That's all for now.

What ridiculous message would you send to your boss if you knew for certain he or she would never decipher it? Have your kids taken on speaking and writing in this new verbiage (this being the true definition of verbiage)? Do you think the workplace will ever adopt this way of communicating?

Life in Penned Perspective by Lindy Chaffin Start
http://www.unstoppablestart.com/

The Words, They Are A-Changin'

2011-09-19T00:01:00.001-04:00

Writers, do you ever find it challenging to keep up with the times? Typewriters have given way to word processors. Writing style and what's popular in terms of genre changes rapidly. E-publishing has turned traditional publishing upside down. And then, after the book is published, it is essential to build a social network and market one's own work.

Yep, it can be a real minger.

"What's a minger?" you ask. Even the language is evolving. The vocabulary might originate with teens - like, ya know what I mean? - but the next thing you know these words are a part of our everyday speak. Click HERE to take a quiz and find out how well you know your 21st century buzzwords.

How did you do? Not so well? You might want bookmark this list (click HERE) from the 2001 Edition of the Concise Oxford Dictionary.

But we can't blame it all on the younger generation; Facebook, Twitter, and texting have changed the very face of the language. Is "unfriend" really a word? Apparently. And even abbreviations, such as OMG, LOL, and FYI, have made it into the dictionary, according to this article (click HERE). For a comprehensive list of chat acronyms and text message shorthand, click HERE.

TWIWI? TFLMS. CUL8R!

Author: Pam Asberry
Website: http://pamasberry.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/pamasberryfanpage
Twitter: http://twitter.com/pamasberry

Friday Show & Tell

2011-09-16T00:01:00.003-04:00

Pam - Dacula, GA

Ain't it the truth?

*****

Lindy - Decatur, GA

Targeting...

And though the BIG red bullseye on the front of the North Druid Target drew their attention,
to our feathered friends, it meant something entirely different.

Happy Friday! Keep your day in perspective.

Keeping It Real

2011-09-14T00:01:00.003-04:00

This week at WritersLi.P.P. we coined the subject Objective Perspective. No matter who you are, your profession, your goals or aspirations, this subject is hard to define. So, I'm not going to (for once).

As a woman with ethics I must abide by objectivity. The situation does not matter; I must be able to see it from more than one side.

Thanks to my dad, I can offer this analogy on perspective: It's like looking at the flat front of a coffee mug while listening to someone tell you that you must grab the full circumference of the mug even though it's hot from the steaming liquid inside. Something inside you says there has to be something more; a handle perhaps.

BUSINESSMEN PERSPECTIVE
© Erengoksel | Dreamstime.com

So, how in this crazy world do we maintain an objective perspective? I can tell you how I do it in one simple phrase: I try to always put myself in another person's shoes. Simple, right? It is and it 1) keeps me honest and 2) keeps me grateful.

In a world where it's easy for opinions and views to get lost in translation, I'll take this lesson the easy way.

What about you? How do you explain objective perspective?

Life in Penned Perspective by Lindy Chaffin Start
www.unstoppablestart.com

Getting An Objective Perspective

2011-09-12T00:01:00.003-04:00

"Does this dress make me look fat?"

"Did you like the casserole I made for dinner tonight?"

"What do you think of the first three chapters?"

Whether I'm getting dressed in the morning, trying to decide whether to keep or toss a new recipe, or beginning a new writing project, I often seek the counsel of others, because it is virtually impossible for me to be objective about something I am really close to. When I look in the mirror, I still see the overweight teenager I was in high school. I am not picky about food, but I don't want to spend a week eating leftovers of a meal that the rest of my family doesn't care for. I am relatively new to fiction writing, so it is essential for me to get feedback from more experienced authors.

The challenge is finding people whose own agenda doesn't interfere with your own. Once I was in a long-term relationship with a man who also had body issues; he was displeased anytime I wore something that wasn't fitted at the waist. Left to their own devices, my children would eat nothing but pizza and potato chips, so the fact that they aren't crazy about a new dish doesn't mean it wouldn't taste good to someone else. The heroine in my novel might remind a contest judge or literary agent of someone she has problems with in her personal life, and this might taint her opinion of my work regardless of its overall quality.

Even doctors are merely expressing opinions when it comes to a diagnosis or a course of treatment. That's why it is sometimes necessary to ask for second, or even third opinion, in order to make the best decision regarding medical care.

It seems, then, a completely objective perspective is something like a unicorn. Hard to find by if it exists at all. So what is a girl to do?

Clearly, it is useful to enlist the help of others. But it is important to seek opinions from a broad spectrum of people: family, friends, professionals. Then, as much as possible, we must find ways to step away from our work so that we can view it as objectively as we possibly can. For example, when I am learning a new piece on the piano, I record my practice periodically and listen to the recording to help me evaluate my progress. When I am involved in the playing, I hear what I THINK I am playing; the recording helps me to hear the way the music actually SOUNDS. Similarly, when I am revising a novel, I print my pages in a different font than the one I use for drafting; that helps me to see the words with a fresh perspective.

But ultimately? We must remember that the only perspective that matters is our own. Because everything else is just another person's opinion.

Author: Pam Asberry
Website: http://pamasberry.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/pamasberryfanpage
Twitter: http://twitter.com/pamasberry

Friday Show and Tell

2011-09-09T00:01:00.004-04:00

Lindy Chaffin Start - Decatur, GA

Mmmmm...Dump Cake!

1 15 oz can of cherry pie filling

1 15 oz can of pineapple tidbits

1 box yellow cake mix

1 cup butter

Layer cherries, then pineapple, sprinkle with cake mix, then drizzle with melted butter. Poke holes strategically to make sure the butter gets to the bottom of the pan. Bake at 350 degrees until the top is golden brown and the bottom is bubbly. Enjoy with your favorite vanilla ice cream or whipped cream. Easy-peazy and delicious. Enjoy!

*****
Pam Asberry - Dacula, GA

Masks and wigs and tights, oh, my!

Labor Day is over and fall is in the air. Still, I couldn't help but shake my head when I saw this display already up at the grocery store this week. Can the Christmas decorations be far behind?

No Recipes; Just Romance

2011-09-07T09:31:00.000-04:00

It's raining today here in Decatur as I am sure it is doing where you live. And the rain, especially when it only comes once in a blue moon, pours down nostalgia.

The Best Thing These Li.P.P.s Ever Tasted in my case is Pecan-crusted Salmon over Portobello Cheese Grits with Wilted Greens. And, in my case this post isn't at all about the recipes but about the romance that ensued.

I was twenty-three living in Atlanta, a big move for a small town girl, and the youngest Executive Coordinator ever hired at a Culinary School in the Southeast. I was the anomaly in a field dominated by older male chefs and entrenched in the metro-area’s restaurant scene. A not-so-lanky food-lover, I hurried to get to know every chef that opened a restaurant in my town inviting them to showcase their food in one of the many classes we hosted. I viewed my position as a stepping stone to my dream job – restaurant public relations and marketing.

The job, in addition to my other responsibilities, tended to be overwhelming, so I would escape to a small island not too far from Atlanta (no, the coast isn't THAT far from here). It was just such an evening.

Sitting at my linen-covered table, I shook my head, hoping with desperation I could let go of work for two days. I wanted forty-eight hours to enjoy the beach, but the food on the island called to me, leading me to my favorite local restaurant famed for its play on Southern cuisine.

My meal was exquisite - Pecan-crusted Salmon over Portobello Cheese Grits with Wilted Greens. I savored every delicate bite allowing the sweet, rich flavors to mingle and fill my palette and soul with the peace I desired.

Taking my last sip of tannin-rich Pinot Noir, I asked the pretty waitress, “Could you please ask Chef to come to the table so I could pay him my compliments in person?”

“Absolutely!” the summer-bronzed woman replied, making haste to the kitchen.

Distracted, my eyes wandered around the restaurant spying lovers in dimly lit corners, and paintings with bright, contemporary colors. I was at home in my surroundings and filled with confidence.

Seconds later the chef stepped into the dining room. Dressed in crisp, formal whites, toque sitting atop his head, he appeared to be seven feet tall. My breath caught in my chest as the handsome, mysterious man approached the table, his self-assured stature enchanting.

We spoke for only a moment, but Chef's charming Northern demeanor, left this Southern belle intrigued. A week later I sent him a thank you note, and a week after that he called, and probably a week after that we were having dinner in Atlanta. He was sixteen years my senior and showed me the kind of love I want in life; the love that sweeps you away in a cascade of stars and warm sea water leaving you breathless and very aware that you will be connected forever.

That was sixteen years ago, and though life has dealt us cards we never would have anticipated, we remain friends. And, on a rare occasion, we get together and toast with a toasty single-malt and reminisce.

Is there a dish that has brought you to a place you never expected? Tell us your story.

Life in Penned Perspective by Lindy Chaffin Start
http://www.unstoppablestart.com/

Pam's (Almost) Famous Whole Wheat Bread

2011-09-05T00:01:00.004-04:00

This week's topic is The Best Thing These LiPPs Ever Tasted, and my recipe for basic whole wheat bread has undoubtedly been my most-requested over the years. I make fresh flour using my Whisper Mill grain grinder and a heavy-duty mixer, but friends have had success using good quality whole wheat flour from the grocery store and kneading by hand. Here goes.

Pam's (Almost) Famous Whole Wheat Bread

Hand Method:

1/3 cup honey

1/3 cup oil

2 ½ cups warm water

1 ½ tablespoons yeast

2 ½ teaspoons salt

6-7 cups whole wheat flour (preferably fresh-milled)

Large Mixer Method:

2/3 cup honey

2/3 cup oil

6 cups warm water

3 tablespoons yeast

1 ½-2 tablespoons salt

16-20 cups whole wheat flour (preferably fresh-milled)

Combine the warm water, yeast and 2 cups whole wheat flour in a large mixing bowl; allow to sponge for 15 minutes. Add the honey, oil, salt and 4-5 cups (12-16 cups for mixer method) additional flour until the dough begins to clean the sides of the mixing bowl. Do not allow the dough to get too dry; it should be smooth and elastic. Knead the bread by hand 7-10 minutes or until it is very smooth and elastic. Cover and let rise in a warm place until doubled in size. Punch dough down, form into two loaves (five loaves for mixer method) and place into greased pans. Let rise again until double. Bake 25-30 minute in preheated 350-degree oven. Bread is done when the sides are golden brown and it sounds hollow when tapped on the bottom. Remove from pans and brush with melted butter for a softer crust, if desired.

Wholesome and delicious - perfect for the cool fall days ahead!

Author: Pam Asberry
Website: http://pamasberry.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/pamasberryfanpage
Twitter: http://twitter.com/pamasberry

Friday Show & Tell

2011-09-02T00:01:00.001-04:00

Pam Asberry * Dacula, GA

Yes, those are bananas.

My nineteen year old is full of surprises.

Today he demonstrated his flair for interior decorating.

*****

Lindy Chaffin Start * Decatur, GA

It was a big'un!

On Thursday I did something good for our environment and great for me.
With little effort, I planted a tree!
Do something good too, won't you join me?
(A little Dr. Seuss for Friday Show & Tell)

* * * * *

Fickle or Faithful?

2011-08-31T00:01:00.006-04:00

From the Merriam-Webster free online dictionary:

fickle - adjective - marked by lack of steadfastness, constancy or stability; given to erratic changeableness.

In yesterday's post, my blog parter Lindy described herself as "likely to change especially due to irresolution or instability." I take issue with that assertion. I have known the Unstoppable Mrs. Start for some time now, and there is nothing irresolute or unstable about her.

Granted, we must adapt to the rapidly changing world around us in order to survive. But that doesn't make us fickle. I like this definition from Wiktionary even better:

fickle - adjective - quick to change one's opinion or allegiance; insincere; not loyal or reliable.

That DEFINITELY doesn't describe most of the amazing women I know. As a matter of fact, I can think of countless times have I been loyal to a fault. Remained on a committee that I no longer felt passionate about because I feared conflict. Stayed beside a friend who did not nurture me - who in fact sucked the lifeblood out of me - because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Stayed in a relationship that was unsatisfactory - or worse, abusive - because I feared being alone.

Life is short, my friends. We deserve better.

Every breath we take could be our last. Every moment matters. Yes, it's hard, but sometimes the greatest kindness we can show ourselves is to simply say the word "no."

It gets easier with practice.

I have learned that I CAN be replaced on a committee, that the old friends will make new friends, that my next great love might be waiting right around the corner. That doesn't make me fickle; that makes me constant - at least to myself. And that is true integrity.

From dictionary.com:

integrity - noun - the state of being whole, entire or undiminished

To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.
~ William Shakespeare, Hamlet

What do you think? Is being fickle a virtue or a vice? Have you ever been loyal to a fault?

Author: Pam Asberry
Website: http://pamasberry.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/pamasberryfanpage
Twitter: http://twitter.com/pamasberry

Fickle. Why not?

2011-08-30T00:01:00.003-04:00

Yep. You better believe it. I am fickle. I must be. Are you questioning why someone would categorize themselves as (adj.) likely to change especially due to irresolution or instability (Dictionary.com)?

Think about it:

Our Nation had a budget surplus under President Clinton from 1998 through 2001. Holy hell, look at us now. It took an act of Congress to increase the debt ceiling.
Following the September 11th attacks on our borders, President Bush launched the war on terror. US forces attacked Afghanistan on October 7, 2001 which will make it the longest fought war in America’s history.
Gas prices were at a high, but reasonable, $2.60 per gallon before Katrina hit in 2005 then soared to $4.00 and have been low, then high, then low, then high…now, we just expect gas prices to be as erratic as the weather in Georgia and nothing short of ridiculous.

And this is the tiniest shard of ice from the tip of an ice cap that is melting in the Arctic. Folks, the world changes, the economy changes, and our circumstances change therefore we must change. We must go on living in a world filled with uncertainties. We must adapt to an economy that doesn’t support a person of simple means who wants only to drive a car to a job they are proud to have, feed and clothe his or her children and prayerfully keep a roof over their heads. We must deal with our emotions, put past failures to rest, and grow.

I realize the definition of fickle speaks more to one’s personality than his or her circumstances, but oft times our personality is shaped by our circumstances in how we respond to them. Based on what we are dealing with in our world today I challenge you to be fickle. Don’t ebb and flow with the world’s tides; grow and change. Another word for fickle: diversification.

How are you fickle when facing today’s challenges? Have you ebbed and flowed or grown and changed?

Life in Penned Perspective by Lindy Chaffin Start

www.unstoppablestart.com

Friday Show & Tell

2011-08-26T00:01:00.004-04:00

Lindy Chaffin Start - Decatur, GA

I'm melting...

This is our cat Pumpkin. She's a precious little dumpster rescue that at four years weighs all of eleven pounds. She may have been the runt of the litter, but she can belt out a heartfelt meow better than any Ella Catzgerald I know. Anyway, she made me laugh on Monday as she lay next to this newly fallen leaf on the deck. She looks like she is about to dissolve into the parched wood as she dreams of the coming Fall. Pumpkin, I'm with you kitty-sister. Come on cooler weather!

*****

Pam Asberry * Dacula, GA

Meet Julee - a friend of mine who goes all the way back to high school - modeling the Writers Li.P.P. t-shirt she won in one of our very first drawings. Thank you, Julee, for your friendship and support. That shirt sure looks good on you!

* * * * *

Megan Stanish - Roswell, GA

I took this photo last year in early October. It is currently a very warm late August, and I find myself looking at this photo often and dreaming of the cool, crisp air that September and October promise. Come on, Fall!!

My Life in Food

2011-08-24T00:02:00.003-04:00

Nathan, October 29, 2005

Contemplating this blog post, it struck me how much the rhythm of my life has been associated with food, and I'm not just talking about special occasions. Sure, there have been plenty of birthday parties, holiday dinners, summer barbecues, and romantic restaurant meals. Food and celebration go hand in hand, right? But there's more to it than that. Come along and share some food memories with me.

Growing up: A bowlful of nuts in the shell and hard candy shaped like ribbons and an endless array of cookies and candies during the entire month of December. A round cake frosted in two separate layers for my brother and me, whose birthdays were just two days apart. Chef Boy-Ar-Dee pizzas hot from the oven. Two McDonald's cheeseburgers, an order of fries, and strawberry shake for Friday night supper; pancakes on Sunday. Bridge mix hidden in my parents' bedroom.

At Grandmother Asberry's house: Eggs over easy, spicy country sausage and fresh squeezed orange juice for breakfast. Ham with pineapple rings and a cake shaped like a lamb covered with fluffy white frosting and sparkling white coconut on Easter Sunday. Gooseberry pie with vanilla ice cream and preserves made with strawberries fresh from the garden. The best tuna salad on the planet and a moist lemon Bundt cake for my sixteenth birthday.

At Grandma Kuntz's house: Fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy and red jello with fruit cocktail, banana slices and black walnuts after church on Sunday. Apples fried in butter and brown sugar, caramelized to the point they tasted more like candy than fruit, served with steaming hot homemade biscuits . Pot roast and potatoes and carrots and onions cooked to tender perfection. Watermelon and "muskmelon" with salt on the side.

In high school: Homestyle fries with gallons of ketchup and ice cold Coca-Cola after school at Hadley's Cafe in Mt. Carmel. A hamburger cooked in a microwave oven at Deb's; turnips that made my mouth water at Corrie's. Beef stew and homemade hot rolls, Stewart ham and cheese sandwiches, and sundae cones from the school cafeteria.

In college: Breakfast at Mary Lou's, sub sandwiches from Booby's, deep dish pizza and a tossed salad with French dressing from Quatro's, chocolate dipped vanilla soft serve ice cream cones from Dairy Queen on Tuesday nights. Spaghetti-o's, Kraft dinner and ramen noodles cooked in an electric pot in the dorm. My first sip of beer, homemade kahlua, chocolate brownies.

Adulthood: Teaching my baby brother how to make pizza and chocolate chip cookies. Hours spent studying Betty Crocker and Fannie Farmer and later Laurel Robertson and Frances Moore Lappe, as my recipe preference shifted from traditional to semi-vegetarian. Beginning a lifelong love affair with baking. Learning to use a food processor, grain mill and heavy-duty mixer. Grinding wheat and baking homemade bread from scratch. Decorating birthday cakes with sprinkles for my kids, making heart-shaped cookies for Valentine's Day, chocolate "dirt" pudding and scary spiders for Halloween, and snickerdoodles and peanut butter cookies for Christmas. Tupperware, Pampered Chef, and Food Network. Julia Child, Jeff Smith, Jamie Oliver, Rachael Ray. My first experience with lobster, escargot, and Baked Alaska on a cruise ship. Sushi at Fusion, tiramisu at Maggiano's, chocolate croissants from La Madeleine. My recent birthday celebration at Ippolitos.

What are your favorite memories? Cooking with your mom and grandmother as a child? A romantic meal with your significant other? A special holiday event? Tell us all about it!

Author: Pam Asberry
Website: http://pamasberry.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/pamasberryfanpage
Twitter: http://twitter.com/pamasberry

Mmmmm....Cobbler

2011-08-23T00:01:00.002-04:00

I can't exist without recipes that bring me joy and remind me of days long passed with family who lived on the farm instead of in the city, who knew the benefits of reaping from the land not the grocery. One of my favorites is cobbler.

Now, you must understand that cobbler may be experienced year-round but seasonal fruits are still seasonal. That said, I encourage you to get creative. In this same basic recipe I have used: rhubarb and strawberries; blackberries, raspberries and peaches; and peaches alone. I challenge you to come up with a combination that works for you and your family. For this recipe I will use Georgia Peaches and Rainer Cherries as they are in season.

PEACHES AND CHERRIES
© Aliced | Dreamstime.com

Lindy's Peach Cherry Cobbler

1/2 cup salted butter
2-1/2 cups fresh Georgia peaches, peeled, pitted and sliced
1-1/2 cups fresh Rainier cherries, pitted and chopped
1cup sugar
1 cup all purpose flour
2 tsp. baking powder
a pinch of salt
1 cup milk
1 tsp of pure vanilla extract
vanilla ice cream

Pre-heat the over to 350 degrees. Melt the butter in a large baking dish (I prefer a cast iron skillet) for five or so minutes. Mash the blackberries (or your choice of fruit) in a large bowl to release some of the juice. Keep in mind that you can include a teaspoon of sugar with the fruit if the fruit you are using is tart. I tend to do this when I use rhubarb. In another bowl mix the flour, baking powder and salt. Add the sugar, milk and vanilla and blend until smooth. Take the skillet out of the oven and pour the melted butter into the batter and mix well. Pour the batter into the hot skillet then dump the fruit right in the middle. Don't stir it. Leave it be. Bake the cobbler for about an hour or until the crust is golden and a toothpick inserted in the batter comes out clean. Serve with your favorite vanilla ice cream or whipped cream. Enjoy!

What might your favorite seasonal combination be?

Life in Penned Perspective by Lindy Chaffin Start
www.unstoppablestart.com

Dad's Pasta

2011-08-22T00:01:00.002-04:00

Do you love to cook? I love to cook. Seriously. My husband has offered several times to share some of the dinner preparation “burden” with me, and while each time I thank him for his consideration, I think I would cry if he really did attempt to take on this task regularly.

This love of cooking is relatively new. I had about zero interest in cooking while I was growing up, and when one of my college roommates offered to be our evening meal chef, my other roomies and I didn’t hesitate to accept.

Then, several years ago, my dad found himself out of work. Now, now, don’t get all sympathetic toward him. His situation was entirely unlike that faced by millions around the world right now who are affected by this global recession. No, let’s just say his “out of work” period amounted to a very long paid vacation. Very long, very paid.

During this time, my father took a few classes, pursuing a few of his passions. One of these passions was cooking. And one of the dishes my father learned to cook became my very favorite dinner. I now cook it every couple of weeks and would serve it more often in my house if I didn’t worry about being disowned by my family.

Mmmmm... Rigatoni....

One of the best things about this dish is how easy it is to make! It takes a long time to simmer down, but truly, once the cooking itself is underway, I often will stand by the stove, sipping a glass of wine, reading a book or magazine, occasionally stirring the sauce or adding the next ingredient. Just chillin’ and cookin’ and readin’ and relaxin’.

The ease of this dish and the resulting deliciousness of it, as well as the sense of calm and satisfaction I get while cooking, serving and eating it, inspired me to start to cook more and to learn more about cooking. I’m not accomplished by any means, but I embrace this new love, these new skills and the dishes my family and I get to enjoy now.

In the spirit of Pay It Forward, I now share with you Dad’s Pasta:

“Dad’s Pasta”

Feeds 4

INGREDIENTS

6 tbsp. olive oil
10 cloves of garlic, minced
12 Roma or Plum tomatoes, quartered lengthwise (recommendation: try to be sure they’re on the softer side, for better sauce)
½ cup red wine (whatever you’re drinking… cabernet or merlot tend to work well)
16 oz. Rigatoni
6 tbsp. unsalted butter, softened to room temperature
2 tsp. sugar
½ cup fresh, grated parmesan
Kosher salt & fresh ground pepper

COOKING DIRECTIONS

Heat large saucepan at medium high heat. Add olive oil and garlic. Sauté garlic until lightly browned.
Add tomatoes to saucepan. Salt & pepper to taste. Cook for around 20 minutes, stirring often. As the sauce cooks, the tomato skin will loosen from the tomato quarters – help it release but keep it in the sauce.
When you have a sauce-like, slightly thickened paste – after around 20 minutes – add wine and stir it in.
Continue to cook, stirring often, until the sauce has cooked down to a very thick paste (around another 10-15 minutes or so).
Remove from heat, set aside.
Cook pasta per box directions. Drain.
Place saucepan of tomato reduction over low heat. Add butter and sugar. Stir until fully melted and combined into sauce.
Add parmesan. Stir for a minute or so until combined into sauce, remove from heat.
Stir pasta and sauce together. Serve immediately.

Author: Megan Stanish
Website: http://aboutthesame.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/aboutthesame
Twitter: http://twitter.com/megstanish

Friday Show & Tell

2011-08-19T00:14:00.005-04:00

Pam Asberry * Dacula, GA

Gutsy Smurf

I hadn't heard about the new Smurfs movie, but I practically jumped up and down when I found out that McDonalds had Smurfs Happy Meals on the menu. I was finishing college when the original Smurfs cartoon debuted so I have no idea why I have a childish attachment to these little blue creatures, but I do. It didn't take long for me to find an excuse to head to my nearest McDonalds and order a Cheeseburger Happy Meal; I squealed with delight when I found Gutsy Smurf inside, much to the amusement of the young woman who sold it to me. All I know about Gutsy is that he is a new character for the 2011 movie, apparently Scottish and "brave to a fault." I like his attitude.

* * * * *

Megan Stanish - Roswell, GA

"Hi Margie!" "Hi Alice!" "What's the story morning glory?" "What's the word hummingbird?"

Do you remember when you were a young teenager and could not get enough of chattering on the phone? When I was in my early teens, we still had corded phones. We had one phone that had an extra long cord which could reach from our family room into my mom’s room, and I would squirrel myself away for hours in a tiny corner by her bed in an attempt to have semi-private conversations with my best friends. Clearly, my daughter (see above) is much more advanced… both in technology and in the timing of the phone-junky epoch of her evolution as a girl. (1. That's an iPhone in her hand. 2. She is on a real call, with a real person at the other end.)

* * * * *

Lindy Chaffin Start - Decatur, GA

My bookshelf!

I will NEVER let go! My dream of becoming a pubbed novelist will be realized! (Insert vision of me dressed as Mel Gibson in Braveheart here, sturdily planted in saddle, spear in hand, with blue paint on my face.) This will be my bookshelf at my local Indie bookstore, Eagle Eye Books in Decatur and, as you can see, I will only be a couple of authors to the right of Haywood Smith which puts me in good company! Looking forward to seeing you Saturday, Haywood, at our Georgia Romance Writers meeting.
*insert battle cry here*

Of Heroes and Heroines

2011-08-17T00:01:00.001-04:00

I felt quite heroic after ziplining through the rainforest canopy in Belize.

Above all, be the heroine of your own life, not the victim!

~Nora Ephron

My nineteen-year marriage ended in 2001. My boys are all but grown, busy with school and activities and friends and lives that have nothing to do with me. Boyfriends – so many boyfriends – have come and gone, proving themselves to be anything but heroic. And what do I have left?

Plenty.

I have choices.

I can cry into my pillow about the wasted years, the empty nest, the love lost. Or I can take a deep breath, straighten my shoulders, hold my head high, and seek out new opportunities.

I have family and friends who care about me.

And sometimes they include me in their holiday celebrations, dinner parties, and nights out at which I might be the only single person in a roomful of many. Sometimes it is hard to go solo, but it beats the heck out of staying home alone. Bonus: I usually meet someone interesting whom I probably wouldn’t have even noticed if I had been part of a couple.

I have myself.

I am teaching piano lessons. I am spending time with my boys. I am writing. I am blogging. I am beading. I am cooking and baking and sewing. There aren’t enough hours in the day to do all the things I love and accomplish all I want to accomplish. But I can stay up all night and sleep all morning if I want to. I don’t have to ask anyone’s permission and I am not accountable to anyone except myself. I can take chances and no one tries to talk me out of it. Granted, when I fall flat on my face, there is no one there to grab my hand and pull me up. Usually, though, when I stumble I manage to stay on my feet. Whew.

* * *

This afternoon, one of my piano students asked me my favorite color; I told her it’s a tie between purple and pink. My piano studio walls are purple, and I shared that my bedspread is pink. She giggled and said, “I feel sorry for your poor husband who has to sleep under a pink bedspread.” When I explained that I don’t have a husband, she seemed confused and a little bit upset. She is just a little girl; I guess she missed the memo. But I assured her that I am okay.

There was a time when I yearned for a man to take care of me, but I have stopped waiting for my knight in shining armor to arrive. He might never show up, but I will be just fine; it turns out I don’t need rescuing. Maybe someday I will meet a man who will support me in my numerous endeavors, who won’t demand that I become some sort of appendage of his when we are together, who will encourage me to take risks and love me when I fail, maybe even love me even more because I tried. A man who won’t care if I dye my hair purple and paint my entire house pink.

That’s my definition of a hero.

Author: Pam Asberry
Website: http://pamasberry.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/pamasberryfanpage
Twitter: http://twitter.com/pamasberry

Eugene Fitzherbert!

2011-08-16T00:01:00.001-04:00

Eugene Fitzherbert is the man of my romantic fantasies. Forget the Harry Connicks, the John Cusacks, the Mr. Darcys of the world; Eugene is my man. And, if you (no not you Megan Stanish) but you, the everyday Joe can tell me who Eugene Fitzherbert is I’ll send you a WritersLi.P.P. t-shirt in honor of your correct answer and the wonderful Pam Asberry’s birthday (August 15^th). Of course, that makes talking about my favorite heroine impossible, but what the hey, let’s talk men for a minute.

Eugene travels the countryside under an assumed name. He lives on the constant cusp of being caught. For what, you ask? Well, my friends, Eugene is a criminal. So what if he’s sexy in his own cartoonish sort of way. Morals and values do not exist in this man. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that he’s not afraid to try new things like singing and sharing his feelings. Though I imagine these to be foreign concepts to most men, Eugene is willing if only to win the love of the woman of his dreams.

Admit it ladies, if you had a man fighting for you, diving off a cliff to get to you, wouldn’t he be your prince charming in thief’s clothing? Imagine, if you will, a man who risks it all to rescue you more than once, who would take a dagger for you; wouldn’t you want to turn around and rescue him from his misgivings about adult life? *insert ballad here*

And, can you tell me why codependence sheathed in romance is okay?

But seriously, if your romantic life could be contained in the pages of a novel that it takes a week to read, or a movie it takes an hour and twenty minutes to watch, then why wouldn’t you want your hero to be someone loathsome like Eugene. Aren’t the ones you have to work for, and on, the most rewarding?

Have I stirred interest or opinion in you? Do share. And don’t forget, be the first to tell me who Eugene Fitzherbert is and the best looking t-shirt in the blogosphere is yours!

Life in Penned Perspective by Lindy Chaffin Start

http://www.unstoppablestart.com/

Ashley, Oh Ashley

2011-08-15T00:50:00.000-04:00

Who is your all-time favorite hero or heroine? This question is an absolute no-brainer for me. My most beloved heroine for all time is Scarlett O’Hara.

Scarlett has been my favorite female lead character since I was two years old. No joke. My mother likes to tell the story of how her best friend took me to a theater re-release of Gone With The Wind when I was two, expecting me to fall asleep by the second hour of the four-hour saga. Instead, I was riveted, watching in silent awe as the story unfolded. Silent except… the scene arrived where Rhett, in his drunken passion, picked up Scarlett – who was now his wife – and carried her up the sweeping stairway of their house. Apparently I, with my high-pitched, piercing voice, indignantly yelled, “Where’s dat man taking dat lady?!”

Posted with great respect to Warner Home Video.

I have been a Scarlett devotee ever since. I’m not sure what it says about me that my favorite heroine is stubborn, willful, prideful, somewhat lacking in empathy and egotistical. Also, while she is incredibly smart and a romantic at heart, she has dramatically poor instincts when it comes to men and love. Hmm… I must think on this more at a later date…

What I can tell you is what it says to me about literary heroes and heroines: flaws are an essential element to capture a reader’s interest and, ultimately, to win a reader’s support and loyalty for your hero or heroine. Think about it. Almost every hero or heroine – aside from those created for small children – has at least one major flaw to speak of. Even our superheroes have flaws and weaknesses, whether they are hindrances to their superpowers (Kryptonite) or personal sensitivities (love interests).

That being said, what lessons can our budding heroes and heroines learn from Miss O’Hara? Remember, I’m speaking directly to your characters now:

Be who you are: silly or sharp, beautiful or beastly, proud or humble… embrace it and make your mark with it.
Don’t overthink the mantel of “hero”: your reader should want you to win the day, not saint you (unless sainthood = winning… not the case for Charlie Sheen at least, though he’s no hero).
It’s okay for your reader to be reluctant in their support of you. Sometimes that’s the fun of your character and your story.
Show a little humanity. Even the most “evil” or alien or animal of heroes demonstrates a glimmer of something relatable now and again.

There are so many more lessons to learn, but for now, we’ll go with these. I’ll leave you with a list of some of my all-time favorite heroes and heroines from page and film… though none holds a candle to Scarlett. (I know some/most of these don’t qualify as Romance, but the lesson remains the same.)

Elliot – E.T.
Jane – Jane Eyre
Ray Consella – Field of Dreams
Annie Consella (if you think she doesn’t qualify, I challenge you to watch the book-burning meeting scene again) – Field of Dreams
Aminata Diallo – Someone Knows My Name
Superman – Superman
Abilene – The Help
Coach Norman Dale – Hoosiers
Henry – The Time Traveler’s Wife
Elizabeth – Pride and Prejudice

So to ask once again… who is your favorite hero or heroine of all time?

Author: Megan Stanish
Website: http://aboutthesame.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/aboutthesame
Twitter: http://twitter.com/megstanish

Friday Show and Tell

2011-08-12T00:01:00.033-04:00

Lindy - Decatur, GA

Gettin' her started early...

Just to show you how committed I am to girls knowing how to use tools, I wanted to share with you a picture of Red as she uses the screw gun for the first time. What can I say? I believe in early childhood education. I started each of the screws in this storage shelf for her, but she tightened eight on each side all by herself. It only took a seconds worth of instruction on my part and off she went. Red's a super helper!

*****

Megan - Roswell, GA

A silverback and female in the gorilla enclosure at Zoo Miami.

Have you ever wondered what gorillas do during a torrential thunderstorm? Do they hide or cower or build an elaborate shelter? Wonder no more. I will tell you. They play. They frolic. They gallivant. My family and I were in Miami this past weekend and ended up "trapped" under a shelter at the Zoo during a heavy storm. As luck would have it, we were directly across from the gorillas, and they put on quite a show for us! In fact, we got to see how many animals behave in the rain, something we rarely get to experience, right? Don't we save zoo outings for clearer weather? Next time you see thunderclouds forming, I recommend you head straight for your local zoological society.

*****

Pam - Dacula, GA

Sometimes my work is more like play.

This week it was back to school for Nathan and back to piano teaching for me. It was hard to say goodbye to the carefree days of summer vacation. But it was easy to say hello to my wonderful students.

Decadent Pleasures: Brownie in a Mug

2011-08-10T00:01:00.001-04:00

Megan and Lindy have already extolled the virtues of some of their favorite decadent delights. A bubble bath and a glass of wine. Snuggle time with a beloved child, the painstaking preparation of a gourmet meal, whiling away an afternoon with friends. All balms for the spirit, for sure.

I am also quite fond of a spa pedicure, a Sunday afternoon with a pot of coffee and a pile of old magazines, a week on a cruise ship. But when none of those are available, as is far too often the case, I am willing to settle for something chocolate.

On a good day, I have access to a variety of chocolate treats. A Hershey bar. A bag of Dove dark chocolate squares. A box of Nonni's Cioccolati Biscotti. On a bad day, a handful of semi-sweet chocolate chips will do.

But there came a day when there was nothing chocolate in the house. Sure, I had ingredients for baking, but I didn't have time to wait for a cake or a batch of brownies. I didn't even have ten minutes to run to the store. I was a woman in crisis. I needed chocolate in five minutes or less.

Then I remembered a recipe that went around for a while, something about a five-minute microwave cake in a mug. I googled the recipe, gathered the ingredients, and gave it a try.

Blech! Yes, it resembled chocolate, but in a bland, rubbery sort of way. But I felt the idea had possibilities. So later I experimented with a few other recipes. Finally, I hit upon one that was rich, gooey and delicious.

Here are the instructions.

Microwave Chocolate Mug Brownie

2 tablespoons butter, melted
2 tablespoons water
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
Dash salt
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
4 tablespoons flour

In a 12-ounce coffee mug, combine butter, water, vanilla and salt. Add sugar, cocoa and flour; mix well. Microwave on high for 60-90 seconds. Center will be molten; be careful not to overcook. Serves 1 generously.

A few chopped pecans tossed into the batter make it even better. Delicious topped with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

We are always on the lookout for new decadent pleasures to add to our repertoire. Have we missed any of your favorites?

Author: Pam Asberry
Website: http://pamasberry.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/pamasberryfanpage
Twitter: http://twitter.com/pamasberry

Decadent Pleasures: The Joy of Self Indulgence May Surprise You

2011-08-09T09:00:00.000-04:00

Self indulgent things that make you happy, otherwise known as decadent pleasures are what bring our lives peace, oft meaning, and teach us to appreciate solitude. Like Megan, the days of hot, candlelit baths with wine and a good book are long gone, but I don’t see that as a bad thing. In all honesty there was never really a day I could sit still in a tub, with or without companionship. And desserts, sure, they can be decadent and pleasurable, but in the end they are only different manipulations of sugar and caffeine no matter the vehicle. Sex can be self indulgent and make you happy but that’s another post for another day and certainly not to be posted on a PG blog. Are you laughing? I hope so.

Friends, the closest I can get to something self indulgent that makes me happy are these:

1) A nap with my little girl should she ever decide to close her eyes in the afternoon. The obvious lack of a constant stream of “Mommy. Mommy. Mommy? Mommy!” can be pure bliss. Couple that with actual rest next to someone who you love and who loves you without condition, and well, that’s just pure happy.

2) A home cooked meal that I make myself for the two of us or friends is always a joy. I love stretching my culinary wings and trying new combinations of flavors and textures that lead to the excited sounds of happy. After all, food is joy. Surprisingly, cooking is how I decompress.

Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all.

- Harriet Van Horne

3) An hour or two surrounded by good friends, laughing heartily, sharing openly of themselves is like religion; you devote yourself to its pursuit and find your life filled with incomprehensible meaning (you’ll see me quoted on that someday).

4) But I have to tell you that my latest decadent pleasure, please don’t laugh, is reclaiming my space. I spent all day Saturday and most of the day Sunday cleaning out my basement. I emptied the crawl space, organized tools, created a space for Red to play, one for crafting, another for sitting and watching a movie. I carried memories of my past life to the curb after setting aside a box of pictures and memorabilia for Red. At the close of the weekend I had a carport full of junk to be hauled off, a curb cluttered with more for the refuse engineers, and a basement that I am proud to call my (our) own. Ah, happy.

I’ll give you three guesses how I celebrated and it wasn't a hot bath. Ha! What is the self indulgent thing that makes you happy? Does it involve hard work or relaxation? How about recreating yourself? Tell me. I dare you. And you don’t even have to keep it PG.

Life in Penned Perspective by Lindy Chaffin Start

www.unstoppablestart.com

Decadent Pleasures: Wine, Candlelight and Solitude

2011-08-07T23:58:00.000-04:00

Picture this:

A 500-square-foot corner studio apartment, fully square in shape with clean, white walls. There are two windows on the front wall that open to the street (which it views from a second story vantage) and a vertical side window – one that likely is the same age as the early 20^th century structure – that opens vertically and locks with a twist latch.

The main room takes up a little more than half of the apartment, with original, small plank, hardwood floors. The remaining space is split evenly between a small kitchen and a very large bathroom. The kitchen floor is original, wide, black and white, checkerboard tile. Along with a full wall of sink and cabinets – broken only by a small window that opens onto another building – that connect the floor to the 11-foot ceiling, the kitchen contains a miniature 4-top stove and oven as well as a slightly small fridge that is straight out of the early ‘50’s, lever handle and all.

Are you with me so far?

The piece de resistance to this compact living space is the bathroom area. Immediately inside the doorway is a small, built-in make-up table complete with a large wall mirror. To the right another door leads to the spacious, dark red bathroom that includes more checkerboard floor tile, a full wall of wide storage cabinets, a high rear window that tilts at an angle to let in air and a large, deep, old bathtub.

What I have just described to you is the West Hollywood apartment I lived in from late 1998 until early 1999, just after I separated from my now-ex-husband. That time was among the happiest of my life for the simple fact that life was so… well… so simple. Many people, women in particular, dislike being along. I, on the other hand, enjoy it immensely. I like to be in control of my time, and I have no problem filling my days and nights with a fine combination of rest and activity. Yes, I adore my family and wouldn’t trade them for anything. And no, my solitudinal ecstasy had nothing to do with my ex or with the separation in and of itself. Those post-separation days were simply filled with a very pure type of joy.

I will share that almost every night in that apartment I enjoyed a cherished decadent pleasure. Come with me as I relive it (don't worry... this is PG, or possibly PG-13):

The evening is very dark and late, and the lights are out throughout the tiny apartment. The vertical side window is open to the night, as is the high angled window in the dark red bathroom. The smell of fresh-baked cookies wafts through the space, though the cookies themselves have yet to cool. The “Practical Magic” soundtrack CD is playing just loud enough to drown out the street noise… or maybe it’s the soundtrack to “City of Angels”… 10 or 12 large, lit candles line the horizontal ledges throughout the dark red bathroom, lighting the room just enough to read while still creating an air of calm mystery. The breeze gently drifting in through the windows is cool, but the water in the bath is hot with a thick head of frothy, playful bubbles piled up to a foot high and more around the entire surface. As for me, I lay low in the water, one hand holding a glass of wine, the other holding a novel. And there I stay and read until the bath grows cold and the wine runs low and the bubbles deflate down to a fine, flat sheen on the water.

Ahhhh... ecstasy.

Photo posted respectfully with thanks to Wikipedia.

These days, my evening decadence has been reduced to a small bowl of M&Ms and a glass of milk that I enjoy while folding my family’s laundry. The only bathtub in my house is in my children’s bathroom.

There are nights when I eye that tub, with my glass of wine in hand and my Kindle at the ready with whatever history or fiction I’m enjoying at the moment, and I think about re-instituting my evening bath ritual. Or at least reliving it again just once.

Just once.

What’s your favorite decadent memory or ritual? Share! We may want to give it a try!

Author: Megan Stanish
Website: http://aboutthesame.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/aboutthesame
Twitter: http://twitter.com/megstanish

Friday Show & Tell

2011-08-05T00:01:00.022-04:00

Pam Asberry * Dacula, GA

My son Nathan went to Vans Warped Tour on Monday. Being a typical 15-year old, he headed straight for the nearest mosh pit - and promptly fell and got his right toe stomped by a fellow at least twice his size. Naturally, that did not stop my boy from walking around at the concert all day. But by the time he got home, his toe was black and blue and swollen and looked progressively worse throughout Tuesday. By suppertime, I decided a trip to the doctor was in order. Turns out that big toe is broken clean across - hence the funky shoe and the propped foot. But that has not stopped Nathan from practicing his new didgeridoo every spare moment; he's had it only a week but he's really getting the hang of it. Yep - this budding rock star displays true dedication to his art.

*****

Megan Stanish * Roswell, GA

Cheery bouquet at the condiments table at our La Quinta.

Whoever invented the concept of the complimentary hotel breakfast buffet should be sainted.

Or knighted.

Or simply hugged. A lot.

*****

Lindy * Decatur, GA

We really can...

Yup. Installed it this week. Yes, I did it myself with my helper/mom handing me tools (God love her). Ladies, we really can do it all. Now, go ahead and ask me if I used the screw gun!

Until next week when we speak of those unspoken decadent pleasures, we remain Pam, Megan, and Lindy the writers, women, moms of WritersLi.P.P.

Black Bra Wisdom: Decide what to be, and go be it

2011-08-03T00:04:00.006-04:00

Maybe the heat and humidity are wearing on me; simply taking the dog out to do his business is oppressive. Maybe it’s the knowledge that summer vacation is almost at an end; I’m one of those weird parents who actually LIKES having my kids around. Maybe it’s the nagging pain resulting from being consistent about going to the gym the past couple of weeks (attagirl, Pam). Maybe it’s the combination of many things. Whatever it is, I haven’t been quite myself the past few days.

Matter of fact, on Sunday I felt downright depressed. My boys were away, there were bills to pay and no money to pay them, and my to-do list seemed to be growing longer instead of shorter, regardless of how many frogs I ate.

Then I looked at this week’s list more closely and saw that I was scheduled to write a blog post called Black Bra Wisdom. “I have no such wisdom to share,” I confided to Lindy and Megan. “I feel old and frumpy and overwhelmed, not sleek and sexy and sophisticated.” But they didn’t offer to let me off the hook. Those young whippersnappers. So here goes.

Decide what to be and go be it.

I didn’t come up with that line. It’s from a song by the Avett Brothers (the music video appears at the end of this post). But I wish I had, because it succinctly summarizes my philosophy of life.

When I was seven years old, I decided I wanted to be a piano teacher when I grew up and I never let anything stand in my way. I figured out the means to overcome every obstacle that appeared in my path and worked relentlessly until I had achieved my goal of receiving a master’s degree in piano performance and piano pedagogy; within three years, I built a studio of over fifty piano students.

I’ll never understand exactly what happened after that. But gradually over a period of time - as I struggled in an abusive marriage, had my business uprooted repeatedly, and dealt with the challenges of raising children and home schooling them - I lost myself. I threw my heart and soul into taking care of my growing family, and got swallowed whole in the process.

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anais Nin

It took me twenty years to come to this realization, then I asked for a divorce. It was messy and complicated, but at last I was free. The problem was I no longer knew who I was. And my self-confidence was shattered. All I knew how to do was to be a mom and teach piano, but since I had to parent almost single handedly and earn a living, those were good things. Slowly, slowly, I began to piece myself back together.

Unfortunately, however, I was also under the illusion that I needed to be a part of a couple to be complete. Happily ever after, right? So I spent years playing the online dating game, jumping from relationship to relationship, morphing myself in chameleon-like fashion into whomever the flavor of the month - or year, or years - happened to need.

Finally, after a broken engagement and another broken heart, something clicked. Yes, there have been a couple of short-term things since then, but my learning curve is improving. And during every stint as a truly single woman – no matter how brief - I discovered unfulfilled desires. I chose to run with them. And I was reminded of the pleasure of spending a Saturday night having fun with girlfriends.

Honestly? Most men can’t compete with the amazing women I know.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as chidren do. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. ~Marianne Williamson, from A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles

Not counting a couple of nights on the town, I have been single for four months now. It wasn’t easy at first. But once I got past the fear of being home alone on a Friday or Saturday night, I was all right. As a matter of fact, I am rather starting to like it.

Mom. Daughter. Sister. Friend. Dog lover. Piano teacher. Blogger. Novelist. Reader. Jewelry designer. Artist. Seamstress. Cook. Baker.

I am all this, and so much more. I discover new things about myself, find new roads to wander, every day. It is exhausting. It is exhilarating. It is real. For the first time in a long time, I am really living.

And most days I’m wearing a black bra while I’m doing it.

Author: Pam Asberry
Website: http://pamasberry.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/pamasberryfanpage
Twitter: http://twitter.com/pamasberry

Cheeky But Honest Black Bra Wisdom

2011-08-02T00:01:00.002-04:00

About a million years ago, back when the internet first launched and AOL was likely the only service provider; back when we had to listen to that horrid buzzing, whizzing, whirling dial tone sound before we finally got to hear those charmed three words, “You’ve got mail”, I got this e-mail that stuck out in my brain. It was when there were very few clever e-mails going around and connectivity was so unheard of that I got it more than once. That was probably, I may have to refer to Megan here because we were working together at the time at Cameron Newell Advertising, 1997. It was an e-mail about certain qualities, and items, women should possess. I wish I would’ve kept a copy of what was entitled, “Black Bra Wisdom.” If you remember it, fabulous! That was bloody fourteen years ago. If you have a copy, please share it because it was really funny. If not, here is my version:

What every woman in 2011 needs (Deserves? Has earned?):

Your own workshop – Be you a woodworker, a crafter, a tailor, an artist, a writer it is important to have your own space. In 1929, Virginia Woolf said, “A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction.” You may not be a fiction writer, but in today’s world you absolutely need your own space. Take it. Make it your own.

Knowledge of our government – Girls, don’t rest wearily on your laurels because you’ve spent the day in the office only to come home to a house full of siblings screaming at one another and a spouse fussing at you about dinner. Make the time to read, or watch, the news. You cannot rely on the idle conversation you encounter around the water cooler. You need to read, or listen to, the facts and formulate your own ideas and opinions about our leadership. Take advantage of your right to vote, recall this is the right that took us until 1920 to earn, and get some of those close-minded “ole boys” out of office. I implore you.

A “black” bra and panties – Sadly, this advice has long since gone the way of the dodo. Though some women may still prefer black, go with what you love but make certain you have a bra and panties in the drawer for special occasions (i.e. a date night, just to feel good, a little luck for a job interview). There are so many cuts, styles and colors out there you could have your favorite. Mine is hot pink! Can I have an AMEN?

Tools – No, not just power tools, all tools. Talk to your dad, your granddad, or a good guy friend and begin to garner some idea of what you might need tools for and then start accumulating said tools. Here are some examples of things I have done and what you might need to complete the job:

Changing out water stops. Don’t know what a stop is? Know those little knobs under the kitchen and bath sink that cut off the water would you need to? That’s a stop. They typically come in copper and attach to copper so be prepared to break out the heavy equipment. You’ll need a torch, solder, solder paste, a wire brush, etc. Pick up the “How to do just about everything” book at Home Depot and you’ll get the idea. Same tools are needed for changing out a water heater just FYI. And, the answer to your next question is…yes, I have.
Switching out the kitchen faucet. This is not as complicated, but be prepared to take the sink out becasue you aren’t going to be able to get any torque behind that tight-ass, rusty nut that is holding the old faucet on. Get the screw gun (aka drill) and be prepared to take the entire sink out. You’ll need channel locks (looks like a wrench that you can make bigger or smaller), you’ll need a screw driver (yes, do-it-yourself faucets come with set screws – please tell me you know what a set screw is), and along with a few other things you’ll need patience. Hire a sitter because you cannot do this with a three year old underfoot.
Tacking the gutters back to the house. What? Your gutters don’t pull away from the fascia? Mine do. In order to fix them you will need gutter screws, not gutter nails, again with the screw gun, a long metal drill bit (long enough to get through both sides of the gutter – sorry I don’t know length off the top of my head but it’s probably six inches. Right boys?).
Trimming the hedges (not the personal kind). Electric hedge clippers that look a bit like alligator teeth and a really, really long extension cord, unless, of course, you don’t mind plugging and unplugging repeatedly. Be careful not to bite (I mean with the clippers) the cord whilst you are trimming said hedges otherwise you might be in for a bit of a bite yourself.

Contact cards – These are akin to business cards but instead are used for networking the more personal side of you. I have business cards and I have contact cards. They both come in handy in very different situations.

Your own money and knowledge of how to manage it (retirement, spending, savings) - I believe that is all that needs to be said on this subject.

Knowledge – Every bit of education you have obtained in the umpteen years you’ve been around. It doesn’t matter if your knowledge came from a book, the street, an event, emotions, or drama what you know is what you have. Use it.

Fearlessness – In my opinion, the worst of all character traits is fear. It can paralyze you, create self-doubt, and even defeat you. Don’t let it! If you don’t know something then pick up a book, take a class, call a friend, or for goodness sake, just try it. What’s the worst that can happen? You might have to practice or try it again. You might hear “no” right out of the gate, but eventually, if you keep at it, you’ll hear a “yes!”

Friendship - Like Megan said in her post yesterday, connect with others and share yourself, and your wisdom. Life is too short to be experienced without good friends, fabulous wine, and rich dark chocolate. When you possess these things you need little else.

What do you think a woman needs to be empowered?

Life in Penned Perspective by Lindy Chaffin Start

Forgive me for today's excruciatingly long post, but these things had to be said. :-) www.unstoppablestart.com

Black Bra Wisdom: The Old Boys Club

2011-08-01T00:01:00.013-04:00

I would start with “this one’s for the ladies,” but frankly I think the men can always learn a lot from anything that’s “for the ladies.” So this is for every reader we have of every age and gender, but it is going to be addressed to the ladies.

Alright, ladies, listen up! You know how for years we’ve been grumbling about The Old Boys Club? As a woman, it’s a bit aggravating (threatening? disheartening?) to hear about male colleagues going out with each other to play golf, grab a beer or even hit a strip club – oh, yes, this happens, and not just in movies – building tight relationships with each other that lead to close partnerships at work that in turn lead to growth opportunities, promotions and the like. Well, the time to stop the grumbling is now!

It’s our turn.

Before I explain, let me ask: Is it supposed to be The Old Boys Club as in “a club full of old boys”? Or is it The Old Boy’s Club as in “there’s some old guy who started this club”? Or perhaps it’s The Old Boys’ Club… but this even leaves room for interpretation. Is it the club that’s old or the boys in the club who are aged? No matter how you look at it, though, it’s old. Outdated. Going the way of the dinosaurs.

The new club is for us. I refer to it as The Soccer Mom Alliance. Before anyone becomes offended, of course this club is not limited to mothers or married women. I only temporarily named the club The Soccer Mom Alliance because the power of us hit me when my fellow soccer moms (bear in mind, my soccer child is 3 years old) started to reach out to each other to hook up via LinkedIn and to get together for a ladies' night. If you would prefer, we could call it simply The Alliance. Or anything else, really. Thoughts? Suggestions?

Here’s the deal. Up until late-ish in the 20^th century, men held the cards. For years, the majority of women either worked as homemakers, which restricted their sphere of influence due to the technological limitations of the times, or worked outside the home within a very limited subset of roles. Men’s roles allowed more freedom and visibility, thus providing them the opportunity to establish that Old Boys Club in the ways now familiar to us all.

Recent times have provided us the foundation for the new order, our new Alliance:

A waning of the limitations on women in the workplace
Reinvigorated respect for the challenging work homemakers manage
Ever-more extracurricular activities in which children of ever-widening ages participate, with ever-greater parental attendance
Social media

In other words, we women are together more than ever, often in groups, with ever-widening circles of influence. And now, thanks to social media, a tool that reinforces and breathes life into our natural inclination to interact and socialize, our time has come. We can reach out to one another 24/7: for laughs, for fun, for a check-in, for an ear or a shoulder… and yes, for professional support.

Two future Alliance members, already supporting each other.

Professional support… Hm. No, that’s too wishy-washy, too old-school, too women-in-the-age-of-the-Old-Boys-Club and not Alliance enough. How’s this: To build and reinforce our professional caché, to leverage an expansive advisory network, to impart our own expertise, and to establish and broaden our professional empires.

There. That’s better.

How do we start? Well, there is one thing crucial thing we can learn from the boys: Ask. Ask to connect – on Facebook, on Twitter, on LinkedIn, via email, for a ladies’ night, for coffee… And yes, ask for the opportunity to learn about what we can offer each other, personally and professionally. There’s power in asking, power in sharing and amazing power in building those bonds. What is it they say in those lottery commercials? You can’t win if you don’t play?

Sure, we might get No for an answer. But we won’t get to Yes if we don’t ask.

So, what do you think we should call this Alliance?

Friday Show & Tell

2011-07-29T00:01:00.067-04:00

Lindy - Decatur, GA

The Register Twins - Gayle and Gwyne

What are they up to? Hands raised. Big smiles if not outright laughter. Are they emulating a roller coaster ride? Did the home team just get a home run? Is there a spooky ghost on this side of the camera? What do you think?

*****

Megan - Roswell, GA

My 5-year-old's painful little toes.

Admit it. You've been aching for us to post a photo of toes. Rejoice. The day has arrived. This photo is of my son's little piggies (try not to weep with joy). The poor kid - who of course loves to run - has naturally ingrowing toenails on both middle toes, with slightly less aggressive ingrowing on his big toes. We've tried everything: trimming the sides of his nails, "turtle bites," you name it. Any suggestions? Please?

*****

Pam - Dacula, GA

Wasabi Green Seed Bead Mix

I bought this to make ankle bracelets, intending to place the beads randomly on the wire to create unique, one-of-a-kind designs. Sounds easy, right? Well, it was a great idea in theory but quite difficult in practice, as I am apparently obsessed with symmetry and pattern.

In the end, I was able to let go of my need to control the outcome of this project and create a lovely anklet that any abstract peace loving wasabi eater would love. And I think I learned a little something about myself in the process.

No More Sorry, No Regret

2011-07-27T01:07:00.001-04:00

It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

~ Elton John & Bernie Taupin

Did I confuse you with these introductory lyrics? Were you expecting, maybe, Billy Joel? Billy has the day off today. Don’t be too disappointed, though. As you can see, his tour-mate, Sir Elton John, has kindly agreed to partner with me in Billy’s stead to help me capture the essence of today’s post.

You see, while this week we’re talking about making No Apologies – and Pam gave us an exhaustive list of things we for which we should never apologize – I have to admit I’m a big fan of the Sorry. I’m a huge proponent of apologies when someone has done something wrong. I’ve trained countless customer service people to start with “I’m sorry” when dealing with an irate customer, the kind of sorry that simply means no matter what caused you grief, I’m just sorry that you are experiencing frustration. Heck, I’m the Mom of two little people! “Tell him (her?) you’re sorry!” is part of my hourly existence!

Apologizing for who we are or for the way we engage with the world, of course, is an error so many of us struggle with. We’re often made to feel as if we should apologize when in fact we should be our own strongest advocates, when we should be shouting our uniqueness to the hills! (Not sure why the hills would care, but it sounds good, right?)

One might assume we regret these Halloween costumes from 2001. One would be wrong. But here's the kicker... WHAT WERE WE??? (I challenge you to guess...)

But did you know that Sorry has a twin? Oh yes, an insidious, evil twin that lurks in Sorry’s shadow: her name is Regret. Sorry truly is one of the hardest words to say, but Regret follows in Sorry’s path with slithery grace and ease. In fact, Regret can find her way into your heart even when Sorry hasn’t managed to claw her way out of your mouth.

Think about it for a minute. Regret is kind of like an inward-turned Sorry. If you have wronged another person, for instance, whether or not you have apologized you likely feel Regret. Close your eyes and imagine that feeling. That Regret. In essence, Regret happens when the part of you that decided to do the Regretful deed apologizes to your conscience. Over and over. And over. It’s an in-your-gut ache, isn’t it?

Here’s the key with Regret: almost 100% of the time, Regret doesn’t accomplish anything. Regret doesn’t turn the clock back. Regret doesn’t right the wrong. Regret just aches and festers.

I decided about 15 years ago that I was going to do away with Regret in my life. I was banishing her for good. It wasn’t easy. But there are two tenets I follow:

Don’t do anything I will Regret. (I hear you LOLing. I will not SMH but rather will continue…) Seriously, this one decision has helped me make very deliberate decisions and to ensure I have the confidence to stick by them. Do I take longer to actually make a decision than I used to? Not really. I’m one of those annoying people who makes a decision quickly – way too quickly for my husband’s liking in so many cases. Poor guy. But by making the conscious decision to avoid Regret, I’ve committed myself to make decisions and take actions that will not cause me to Regret.
Don’t allow Regret entrée into my heart. When something happens that would typically be Regret-Full, and when I start to feel a bit Regret-Esque, I try to remind myself that feeling Regret will do nothing but make me feel terrible. Which will lead to an irresistible desire to eat an entire pan of brownies while watching an endless loop of “Steel Magnolias.” At that point, I have two choices: become heartless (not an option) or take action. You’d be amazed at how quickly Regret flees when you take action. Do you Regret doing something negative to another person? Go make it better. Do you Regret something you did long ago, too long ago for a simply make-good? Do something today to improve the life (or even just the day!) of someone else. Do you Regret something huge like having so much when so many have so little… well, that’s an easy one, but I’ll let you figure it out.

The key here is to Stop Regret. No More Inward, Useless Sorrys. Be. Do. Act.

The almost-not-quite-irony of this post is that last week I wrote a post on my personal blog reminding people that there is no statute of limitations for I’m Sorry. But let’s be clear: that kind of Sorry is an outward Sorry, not a Regret. There is a difference.

Just let me out of here
Before that sentimental music starts
And your regrets
Fall like empty lines
Like the lies we write on Valentines

No Valentine

~ Elton John & Bernie Taupin

By the way, if Sir Elton John and Billy Joel ever do agree to tour again, go see them. Fabulous concert. You won’t Regret it.

P.S. Tell me… am I the only one who saw Pam’s photo in yesterday’s post and, before learning that she was in a porthole, wondered where she found such a gigantic washing machine?

Author: Megan Stanish
Website: http://aboutthesame.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/aboutthesame
Twitter: http://twitter.com/megstanish

47 Things You Should Never Apologize For

2011-07-26T00:01:00.004-04:00

Yes, that's me. In the porthole of a cruise ship. I make no apology for this.

Do you ever apologize for things that you shouldn’t? I have been known to apologize for: forgetting to put on my make-up; the condition of my thighs; wearing a dress my date didn't like; the weather; making mistakes in a piano performance; having fun when someone else wasn't.

Resolved: From this day forward, I apologize ONLY for the things I do wrong, NOT for being my imperfect, quirky, occasionally outrageous self. Here, in no particular order, is a list of 47 things YOU shouldn’t apologize for, either.

Doing what makes you happy.
Using big words.
Using bad words (in the appropriate context).
Going out with your friends.
Staying home when everyone else wants to go out.
Your lack of education.
Your less-than-marketable graduate degree.
Struggling financially.
Being successful.
Feeling how you feel.
Stating your true feelings.
Crying when you need to.
Your penchant for the color purple.
Your tiara.
Your closet full of impractical shoes.
The feather extension in your hair.
Walking away from a job that makes you unhappy.
Walking away from an abusive relationship.
Doing your best in a relationship that didn’t make it anyway.
Being single.
Going to a restaurant and dining alone.
Your tattoo.
Your belly button ring.
Taking risks.
Telling the truth.
Wearing your pajamas all day.
Listening to 80’s rock.
Watching a chick flick.
Reading a romance novel.
Avoiding people who have hurt you.
Not being attracted to someone who is attracted to you.
The extra ten pounds you are carrying around.
Demanding respect.
Not putting up with bad behavior from others.
Having high standards when it comes to relationships.
Being frugal.
Treating yourself to something special.
Not knowing how to do something.
Being really good at something.
Telling the truth.
Refusing to compromise your integrity.
Changing your mind.
Resting when you are tired.
Your crazy family.
Being proud of your children.
Helping others.
Your faith.

Can you think of anything else?

Author: Pam Asberry
Website: http://pamasberry.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/pamasberryfanpage
Twitter: http://twitter.com/pamasberry

I’m Sorry shrug It's Who I Am. No Apologies!

2011-07-25T00:01:00.008-04:00

To walk a mile in
another's shoes...

When I was in my early teens my dad had me take the Myers-Briggs type assessment. In all honesty I don’t recall why, at such a young age, he wanted me to assess myself in this way, but I recall vividly that I was a high “F”. Though I was something akin to an INFJ, the range probably pegged “feeling” as my strongest, if not only, characteristic. My dad told me that meant I was overly empathetic. I was so young I didn’t truly understand the meaning of empathy or the difference between empathy and sympathy and at the time I recall feeling like he was slamming me for being too soft.

Twenty years later when subjected to the same assessment I don’t think “F” factored into the equation at all. In corporate life I preferred to operate in the ENTP range – settled, logical, always looking forward. I will never forget the day I learned this about myself. Much like the day my dad called me overly empathetic, now I felt like I couldn’t relate to people at all; like I didn’t care one iota about what others were experiencing in their lives. I remember sitting in my shared office with friends and coworkers Robin and David discussing the outcome. The two of them seemed so sensitive and caring compared to my cold, business-like matter-of-factness. I felt like the Grinch with a heart two sizes too small. It hurt.

Thinking on these two occasions in my life, I had to question which of these personality profiles was most like me. Had I changed so much over the course of twenty years? What had caused the upheaval? Does everyone change this dramatically? Was this business, or was this me?

After leaving my cold, career-focused life behind and spending two years at home in an effort to change me, my marriage, raise a healthy daughter, write the great American novel (I could go on and on but you’d go to sleep) I began to see that there is a healthy balance between the two that make me who I am. It took me a while to disengage from the business attitude and adapt to being the new, softer me. Once I did, my emotions were cranked into gear and I became that person who could put herself in just about anybody’s shoes. Though I haven’t quite reached the same point of emotional abandon as my dear friend Robin, who will cry in response to all of the Hallmark commercials (I can only shed tears for a couple of them), I have grown to realize that being empathetic, even overly so, is an amazing gift. It gives me a granite foundation of understanding others, which leads me to have faith in the good in the world, which subsequently leads me to forgiveness – maybe not necessarily in that order.

In recent months, during trying times, I questioned my ability, even my interest, in empathizing with others especially my soon-to-be ex, but ultimately I find sticking to what I know, or just being me, is an okay thing. It’s easier to bear the pain of loss than it is to endure the hatred that ensues after being left behind.

“We must accept life for what it actually is - a challenge to our quality without which we should never know of what stuff we are made, or grow to our full stature.” - Ida R. Wylie

I may be empathetic, much to my wise father’s chagrin, but I make no apologies for the number of times I have uttered the words “I’m sorry” over the years because it’s who I am, and thanks to my unwitting father, I learned it early. Thanks Dad! And thanks to my dear friends, ones like Robin and David, I rediscovered it before it was too late.

Have you ever felt the need to make apologies for who you are? Is there one characteristic or trait you feel more accountable for than another? Join the conversation.

Life in Penned Perspective by Lindy Chaffin Start

www.unstoppablestart.com

Friday Show & Tell

2011-07-22T01:00:00.000-04:00

Megan - Roswell, Georgia

You know how you think you've taken the perfect photo? And then you know how something can just throw that photo all wonky? I love this picture of my friend's little girl, particularly the flower (weed?) tucked behind her ear. But the photo is just a smidge off. Three words: Empty. Plastic. Bottle. Ah well. Babies and their toys.

* * * * *

Pam - Dacula, Georgia

My brother Greg and me, August 1981

My brother Jim, born two years after me, died in an auto accident on July 18, 1981, the day before my brother Greg's 18th birthday. July 19th was also my maternal grandmother's birthday; she and Greg are gone now, too. And my dad told me yesterday that his father passed away on July 20, 1961.
That's a lot of sadness packed into three days.

* * * * *

Lindy - Decatur, Georgia

If you need a plumber, don't go gettin' any ideas.

This is how I spent an hour this week - replacing my kitchen faucet. A little black bra wisdom ladies: if you don't have power tools or if you have them yet don't know how to use them - LEARN!

You silly men, if you are asking why I needed a screw gun to replace my kitchen faucet, then you obviously don't know what you're doing. Happy Friday!

Billy, Me & Your Second Wind

2011-07-20T00:33:00.000-04:00

Pam and Lindy have done a wonderful job this week of discussing the challenges and trials of rejection as well as how to overcome a rejection (or several rejections) to ultimately feel empowered. They’ve provided solid advice as to how to keep rejections of all kinds in perspective. Truly, they’ve covered the subject quite thoroughly, and I don’t think I have anything of relevance to add that would significantly expand the topic.

And if there’s one thing I don’t like to do, it’s to ramble without adding something to the conversation.

Instead, Billy Joel and I plan to talk about some of the responses that the Big No (rejection) elicits in us. You didn’t know that I’m tight with Billy Joel? Oh, yeah, we go way back. I’ve known him for most of my life – his moods, his feelings, his ups, his downs. Sure, he has not a clue who I am, but every friendship has its hurdles. So anyway, Billy Joel and I came up with an acronym to aid in remembering the 5 primary emotional responses to rejection: D’PASH. What does D’PASH stand for? Read on:

· Despair: “And every time I’ve held a rose it seems I only felt the thorns” ~ And So It Goes
Well, despair might be overstating it slightly, but sometimes when we experience rejection, our first reaction is to feel sad. Sometimes we feel a little sad, and yes, sometimes we do feel desperate. This is often the emotion that’s easiest to overcome, as long as you allow your friends to comfort you. That’s a skill set most friends have in spades – the ability to make you feel happy again. Let them practice this amazing skill on you. You won’t be sorry.

· Pride: “Because you had to be a big shot, did ya. You had to open up your mouth.” ~ Big Shot
Where sadness can be easiest emotion to move past, pride is probably the most intractable. And who among us hasn’t felt at some point that the person rejecting us has no right to reject us or clearly has absolutely no sense whatsoever? But what’s more critical here is pride’s ability to close our ears to what the person rejecting us has to tell us. Sure, they may simply not like what we have to offer for reasons that have no bearing on anything, but they also may convey something to you that you can use in the future – to help avoid future similar rejection (from publishers, from potential employers, from Billy Joel), to understand another point of view that’s unfamiliar to us, or even to use in a plot line someday!

· Anger: “Give a moment or two to the angry young man, with his foot in his mouth and his heart in his hand. He’s been stabbed in the back, he’s been misunderstood. It’s a comfort to know his intentions are good.” ~ Angry Young Man
Closely related to pride is anger. Have you ever been rejected by a loved one when you needed him or her most? Have you been let go from a job for unfair reasons? In such situations, it’s easy to feel flat out pissed. Furious even. Move over pride, anger’s taking the stage. Be careful when anger subsides, though, because if self-acceptance doesn’t assert itself, despair can wander in.

· Stress: “But you will come to a place where the only thing you feel are loaded guns in your face and you’ll have to deal with pressure.” ~ Pressure
Depending on how much you are counting on someone to accept what you had to offer, a rejection can really kick your stress into high gear. If you’re struggling financially, a job rejection can make impending bills loom like skyscrapers. When you’ve put your heart and soul in to a manuscript, every “no” letter may make you question all the time you put into writing and can stress you out over possible “lost time.” A rejection of a more personal nature – a spouse, a significant other, a friend, a family member – can simply increase worry about ending up alone without a support system. When the stress piles on, take a deep breath. Stress won’t help you overcome your rejection, and it won’t help you move on. It will just make you… stressed. So while it may not be just that simple… chill out. Do whatever you need to do (think: healthy) to relax. Seriously.

I shouldn't have had that second carafe of coffee before reading the rejection email... or maybe I should have another.

· Honesty: “Honesty is such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue.” ~ Honesty
The healthiest reaction (read: the least common reaction) is honesty. Self-directed, truthful assessment of ourselves. It’s the toughest reaction to have, and often it takes a huge, conscious effort. Think about it. If the person rejecting us can teach us something of value in his or her rejection rationale, then listening openly to and learning from their reasoning can only make us stronger. Conversely, if we listen attentively and honestly to the reasons the person rejecting us has to share, and if we can conclude that he or she is full of it or is flat out wrong, we can be that much more confident in ourselves and what we have to offer. It’s a win-win! It’s so difficult to manage, but if we can do it, the benefits are so worth it.

I hope that you’ve enjoyed the wisdom and fine lyrics Billy Joel and I shared with you, and I hope that we’ve managed to contribute something of value to the knowledge provided earlier in the week by my co-bloggers. And next time you face rejection…

Don't forget your second wind
Sooner or later you'll get your second wind
~ You’re Only Human

* If it wasn’t clear, all lyrics in this post are from Billy Joel songs.

Author: Megan Stanish
Website: http://aboutthesame.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/aboutthesame
Twitter: http://twitter.com/megstanish

Don't let the bad guys win

2011-07-19T00:01:00.010-04:00

Photo courtesy of http://www.freepicturesweb.com/

We first learn about rejection as children. Whether we are the last to be chosen for sports teams, are assigned to the chorus instead of the starring role in the school musical, or earn a “C” instead of an “A” in a class despite putting forth our best effort, we learn what it means to “fail.”

Then it gets personal. The boy you desperately wanted to invite you to prom asks a cheerleader instead. Your spouse has an affair with a colleague. Your best friend ditches you when you make a decision she cannot handle.

But the patterns of our youth do not have to become the truth of our adulthood. The actions and opinions of others have little bearing on who we really are.

Unless we let them.

Those of us who aspire to be traditionally published authors set ourselves up regularly to be rejected. Just for fun, I invite you to take this little online quiz.

But rejection is serious business. When I contemplate the word rejection, my body reacts physically. My chest tightens up; my breath becomes shallow. I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Rejection can do one of two things: it can make us stronger, even more determined to succeed, or it can destroy us, giving us an excuse to achieve far less than we are capable of. “I never do anything right,” we tell ourselves. And we don’t. “Some things never change,” we sigh, and that becomes self-fulfilling prophecy.

One thing is for sure: rejection feels like a door slamming you smack! in the face. But Alexander Graham Bell, who failed countless times before finally succeeding with that little contraption we call the telephone, said, “When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the ones which open for us.”

Yep. If we hang our heads in shame and slink into a corner every time someone tells us we are not good enough, we are sure to miss our next opportunity. Which might even turn out to be a better one.

Most people give up just when they’re about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from a winning touchdown.

~Ross Perot

Maybe you have tried out the past six years in a row, but what if your next audition will be the one to get you a solo part in your church choir’s Christmas cantata? So you have filled out a hundred online job applications; what if the next one is the one that results in you landing your dream job? Maybe you have gone on blind dates with a dozen horny toads, but what if the next guy you meet turns out to be your Prince Charming? So you have a drawerful of rejection letters; what if the next editor you pitch to falls in love with your story and wants to sign you for a multi-book deal?

I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat.

~Sylvester Stallone

Wake up, my friends. Get going. Never. Give. Up.

Author: Pam Asberry
Website: http://pamasberry.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://facebook.com/pamasberryfanpage
Twitter: http://twitter.com/pamasberry

Go Ahead...Reject Me!

2011-07-18T00:01:00.023-04:00

Yikes!

How many times in our lives do we face debilitating rejection? Mortgage applications, job interviews, manuscript queries, invitations, date nights, play dates – we face each of these stamps of disapproval differently, at least, I do.

Well folks, today I am throwing down the gauntlet! Go ahead…reject me! I dare you.

Reject — vb

1. to refuse to accept, acknowledge, use, believe, etc

2. to throw out as useless or worthless; discard

In my infinite wisdom (ha!), I want you to understand one thing about you (because I know you so well). You are the only person who can reject you! Sure, there are countless ways others can reject - refuse to accept, acknowledge, use, believe (Source: Dictionary.com) - you, but in the end, you are the only one that has the power to let another’s rejection hold you back. Today I challenge you to join me in letting go of other’s attempts to dishearten you. I challenge you to abandon rejection and instead see “no” as a call to action. No matter the source, let another’s lack of belief propel you down a better path, a path that gets you closer to who you are. Let go of fear! Practice, practice, practice! And, when all else fails, try, try again!

“I am not afraid…I was born to do this.”

- Joan of Arc

As a woman I have been rejected by men who think themselves superior, men who believe their opinions, thoughts and feelings are the only ones relevant. To those men I say, “You aren’t worth my energy”; not the energy I could waste fighting back and certainly not the energy I might expel worrying about what you think of me. I am my own person and if you don’t like me for who I am…fine. You are missing out!

“You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.”

– Margaret Thatcher

As the mom of a three and a half year old I am constantly faced with rejection. It’s not a kind of rejection, when recognized for being what it truly is, that is painful. Instead, it is the rejection of mommy’s thoughts and opinions, guidance and direction, as my daughter spreads her wings in her first efforts to gain her independence. Every day she grows closer to becoming a girl, not a baby, and nothing could make me more proud, or more eager to receive rejection. Sometimes I have to lock myself in the bathroom and cry, but at least I see it for what it is.

“What you don’t do can be a destructive force.”

– Eleanor Roosevelt

As a writer I cannot count the letters written by editors and agents not interested in my current work(s). That’s part of the game. Do I let their current interests and opinions stop me from writing what I love to write? No. Do I let the market’s needs dictate what I am to write about? Heck no! Does this mean I am inflexible and unwilling to change? Absolutely not! What it tells me is that I know who I am and what I am capable of. It tells me that when I query the same project in another three years that someone will pick it up. Their rejection today won’t stop me from believing in myself.

Facing rejection is how we learn from our mistakes, take constructive criticism, identify patterns of behavior in ourselves, and determine who we are and what we want to be when we grow up. So, another’s rejection today won’t stop me from believing in myself.

Sure, support from friends and loved ones, a good laugh and a penis joke shared between friends, and the venting about potty accidents, sleepless nights and embarrassing comments in the grocery store regarding our latest procurement of tampons that accompanies motherhood all help us to overcome it; no doubt. But, if I look in the mirror in the morning and think I can’t face another day of rejection, then I just didn’t learn enough the day before.

Life in Penned Perspective by Lindy Chaffin Start
http://www.unstoppablestart.com/

*****

Shameless marketing for Monday – Read! Comment! Share! And, come back tomorrow and Wednesday for more rejection perspective from Pam Asberry and Megan Stanish.

Writers Li.P.P.

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