Monday, October 17, 2011

The Exorcism Factor: Things I Heard and Swore I Would Never Repeat

"See ya!"

5 FINGERS© Nithi Chungyam |
It’s funny how we perceive others.  When it's someone we care about it's hard to see that they may be flawed to the point that we need to cut ties. This post means a great deal to me because I am essentially outing people I have known without revealing their identities. For these purposes, let’s call it an exorcism. This is my way of writing the note and lighting it on fire so that I can finally let these folks go. All of these people I have known well, shared intimate conversations with, and completely disconnected from once these statements were uttered. You ready?

Me: “So, why the name change?” 
Friend: “There’s a warrant out for my arrest.”
Me: “For?”
Friend: “My ex is after me for back child support.”
Refrain from slapping. See ya!

Me: “Girl, you look great! How did you lose so much weight?”
Friend: “Well, did I ever tell you that cocaine is my drug of choice.”
Head tilt. Huh? See ya!

Me: “I really appreciate your help this weekend. Is there anything I can do to repay you?”
Friend: “Didn’t you tell me once that the doc had given you Xanex for your panic attacks?”
Me: “Yeah. Why?”
Friend: “I’ll buy them from you.”
Are you kidding me? See ya!

Me: “You said that you wanted to have your children raised in church. What happened?”
Friend: “I just said that to try to get in your pants.”
Whole host of expletives resound in brain.  See ya!

Sadly, I am naïve enough not to pick up on the warning signs like most. Believing in people is what I do. Seeing the good, refusing to admit the bad until it smacks me across the face – WHACK! Gratefully, I am well aware of when to call a friendship quits.

What about you? Is there something you’ve heard from a friend that has ended a relationship? Something you swore you would never repeat?

Pam is up next. Until Friday Show and Tell I bid you a good week.


Pam Asberry said...

Wow. Just. Wow. You may be more trusting than most and miss the warning signs, but at least you are smart enough to see the red flag waving and know when it's time to cut yourself loose. Good girl! :-)

WritersLiPP said...

Those red flags are a bear. And the hardest part is finding these things out once you've put som much trust and faith in someone. It hurts. But, these things I cannot support. Thanks Pam.

Pamela Sterling said...

That's funny!!

WritersLiPP said...

Thanks Pam. They're certainly worth a laugh!

Julee J. Adams said...

I had to cut loose a friend and former co-worker that forwarded the kind of racist hatred I cannot abide by against anyone, but especially not against our president. The breaking point was a "political cartoon" that wasn't at all funny, it was offensive. I politely told her I loved her and please keep sending the funny jokes and recipies, but let's agree to disagree on the political stuff. I'm sorry I haven't heard from her since, but my stress level is lower now.

The sad thing is, we're getting this stuff from my father-in-law, who has the Fox News Network logo burnt into his TV. I let my husband deal with his dad, sending conflicting letters to the editors and flaming emails back and forth. I'll make him some of his favorites for Thanksgiving and tell him the truth that I love him, but if the arguement starts, I'll leave the room.

Life is too short to stress and grieve for those who aren't willing to compromise or apologize, isn't it? Be strong.

Anonymous said...

Exorcism is a great word, Lindy. Recently I'd had to cut ties with a friend. At a dinner party I hosted, a dear friend's husband was disrespectful & rude to me. Mutal friends advised him to apologize. He left without saying a word. Okay, that wasn't my friends fault. Later, she expected me to pretend like it never happened. That's where I had the problem. When I said no, she tried to twist the whole thing and blame my husband.
Not quite as bad as any of your's but surprising none the less.


WritersLiPP said...

Thanks Julee. Racism is certainly something that can't be tolerated. I support your choices and applaud you for standing up for your beliefs.

WritersLiPP said...

Oh Sia, I'm so sorry. That's a very difficult situation indeed. A friend that would show you the same disrespect by asking you to "forget it" isn't a friend. Being accountable for our actions is part of life. If you mess up, you deal with the consenquences. He messed up. Period. *hugs*

Denise said...

Oh, you are so not alone. I always see the good and write the bad off to just a bad moment. I will forgive just about anything. I do have a line or two and am drawing more. There's just so much a girl can put up with, right? Good for you for walking away.

R.R. said...

Great Googly Moogly!!!

#1 Last year I completed a 16 year child support obligation. From the start I set up a court order that required my co. to mail the payments from my check to the agency across the country that handled the payments - but that's just me - so not much empathy on this one.

#2 I'm a big fan of the head tilt -especially along with the contorted question mark face!

#3 You always think of these things after it's too late but how about: "Sorry, I'm slap out of xanax, but I *am* running a special on Ex-lax!!!

#4 Nothing like the guy who knows the art of the gradual and patient build-up of sexual tension!!!

Because I know about these things, I will suggest you go to Conyers to the Monastery of the Holy Spirit . It's not advertised but at the gift shop you can get a decorative flask of Holy Water. Sling a few drops around while you are performing your exorcisms, and even better, if the person is there, sling some on them to see if their skin sizzles!!! Great Post!!!

Tami Brothers said...

OMG! You are better off without those people in your life.

I have some doozies in my family, so it's hard to cut them out completely. BUT I am getting better and making myself a priority and not letting them knock me down because of it.

You are a strong woman. I would have definitely smacked a few of those people. ;)


WritersLiPP said...

Thanks Denise. There is only so much a girl can put up with and I'm happy to hear your lines are getting deeper. Take care of you first. XO - Lindy

WritersLiPP said...

Oh R.R. you crack me up! Thanks for sharing your wisdom and where to find the holy water. I do believe I'll be making that drive SOON! Cheers - Lindy

WritersLiPP said...

It is hard to break ties when they are family, Tami. Hang in and do the best you can with your boundaries. Just becasue you are related doesn't mean you have to accept them completely, just remove yourself from the undesirable situations like Sia said. XO - Lindy